Ready to Fall
by Miss-murdered
Summary: Sequel to Domino. After the events on L2, Heero and Duo have struggled to settle into normal civilian life. When an attempt is made on Relena's life, they find themselves thrown back into the world they left behind to fight a potential threat to peace. But maybe this time it's not about peace… maybe this time it's personal… 1x2x1
1. Little Hell

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing and never have… shame

Warnings: yaoi with m/m sexual relations – both lemony and lime, angst, violence, swearing, hints of sap and probably a dozen other things…

Pairings: 1x2x1, side 3x4

A/N: Hey all – this is the promised sequel to Domino and will be of a similar length – aiming for roughly 24 chapters again but no matter how hard I plan a fic it always morphs a little so let's just see how it goes! I would recommend anyone who hasn't read Domino to read it prior to starting Ready to Fall as the plot takes off about a year down the line from that particular fic and I will be referencing events in it and it is kinda vital to the plot…

As always, songs are inspiring each chapter and the title is taken from the Rise Against song of the same name. The first chapter is inspired by Little Hell by City and Colour.

This fic is beta-d by my good friend Ellewrites (and my co-authoring buddy – check out hers and our joint fic because she is just generally awesome – though I'm sure most of you already have…) and a massive thanks to her for committing to this huge fic and being along for the ride!

And finally… Ready to Fall will be updated every Wednesday – I cannot commit to quicker updating due to work/life etc but I will always try to hit the Wednesday schedule. If I can't, I will let you know either in the author's notes of the previous chapter or on my profile.

So that's it from me – onto the first chapter…

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**Chapter One **

**Little Hell**

The bar was a twenty minute drive away from the garage – it was the next town over and therefore allowed some anonymity. I didn't want to go to the local dive. We'd been their together, played pool and got a little drunk from time to time so they knew us. Knew us on sight as the queers who ran the garage and I didn't want the damn looks I didn't usually give a shit about or the speculation and gossip it would cause by going to Misty's stag. They'd ask, the friendly chick behind the bar would so ask and then the whole clientele of the bar would find out that we'd had a damn lovers tiff or something.

At this bar they didn't know me. It was in a bigger town so during the times I pissed Heero off enough to need to get away I could just pick one until I cooled down. Until he cooled down. Until we both could be in the same room and not try to knock each other's lights out.

The guy behind the bar was greying, wearing a lumberjack shirt and had a pretty impressive beard. Kinda reminded me of Howard in a weird way – that laid back old dude thing. He eyed me up as I took a stool at the bar.

"What can I getcha?"

"Bourbon straight."

He looked at me hard for two reasons. One I guessed was the awesome task of figuring out my age to work out if he needed to ID. Well, I learnt young that not getting ID'd was all about the confidence trick and ordering a drink that said you could damn well hold your drink. It was all about the attitude and I knew that. But I figured I still looked young, you know, so I reached for my wallet and produced a fake drivers license with a fake name and a fake date of birth and ... yeah, you guessed it, everything fake but the image of my face – that was all Duo Maxwell – but everything else was as fake as the smile on my face.

He nodded and reached for the bottle with another look at me – that would be the other reason he seemed reluctant to serve me. Yeah, it's not even twelve and I've gone for hard liquor – not for beer, not for some mixed drink crap – just good ol' fashioned alcohol. Which I guess is the sign of two things – hard core alcoholic, which I've so not gotten there yet, or emotional shit. Every good barman knows this, so I figure, as he just pours. Customer is always right and all that jazz. The whole great American service industry.

He pushed it over and placed the bottle back on the shelf behind him and I thought of doing the whole clichéd shit of saying "leave the bottle" but I was not going to do that. I needed to drive back home eventually – I was not calling Heero to pick my drunk ass up as he would likely just leave me here in his current state of mind and I'd totally deserve it. I don't actually know where it started this time. I've gotten used to it. So has he. That we don't do "couple" well, that the place is too small and we sure as hell don't do "normal" well. Who'd have thunk it – two guys who can pilot any mobile suit, plane, shuttle, who can assemble and reassemble guns without looking and know how to kill men in many _many _different ways – can't figure out how to do the whole functional and normal relationship thing. Ah yeah, I thought it but then I wanted this to somehow _work,_ to have a home, someone to sleep with every night – I wanted it and somewhere along the line I forget that he's Heero-fucking-Yuy and that we're both pretty screwed up.

I think it might have been something to do with the bike. It could've been something about the parts I left on top of paper work – hell, it could've been about hair in the plug hole, socks on the floor or food that is growing new and exciting life forms in the fridge but, to be honest, it didn't actually matter what it was. It could be about the fact both of us are shit at getting sleep and we both have moods that fluctuate depending on whether we've had a particularly fun series of nightmares or that, you know, generally we're just not that compatible on a daily basis. So I don't exactly know what it was – but it would've descended into throwing stuff or punching each other… and yeah, there would've been a make-up fuck somewhere there but I figure that just defaulting to sex every time we have a fight is kinda not the healthiest way to have a relationship. Or maybe that's what you get when you have two ex-soldiers who are feeling pretty damn useless outta action and feeling washed up at twenty-one.

I downed my drink and felt that warming shudder of alcohol. It wasn't good stuff and I tried not to wince. Not so good for my masculinity to look like I can't take my damn alcohol when I feel that I was trained better to drink alcohol by the Sweepers than by G's actual Gundam pilot training. I always figure that I became a form of entertainment – figure out how much I could drink before I fell over or something. Hilarious. Though, I suppose, I gotta be grateful for that experience – I can hold my liquor.

"Another – make it a double."

"You want to be careful, kid."

"I know my limits."

I wanted to say something more insulting. That I'm twenty-one and I know my fucking limits. That I don't need a lecture about anything – about thinking more about my body and the stupid pacemaker that keeps my heart beating and all the things I really shouldn't do but I let the dude's comment slide.

"Do you want me to leave the bottle?"

This made me smile, a real damn smile as I'd been thinking about the damn cliché of the broken guy in the movies drinking his sorrows away and I shook my head. I'd drink the double slowly and leave – go back home, take a scenic route, take the bike out a bit further and go back to Heero and maybe make him tell me what the hell I did or whether it's just… him, you know, being him.

"Girl trouble?"

"Something like that," I said, taking a sip.

"Nothing can't be solved by flowers, chocolates and grovelling."

I chucked and took another swig. Nope, none of those things would work – hell, I don't think I even know the concept of grovelling. I barely know the concept of saying sorry. Maybe I buy him a new shiny gun that he can't use because we're off the grid. A part for his laptop. Some new spandex shorts, huh, the image made me want to laugh – I remember seeing him without those stupid shorts for the first time and thinking thank the fucking Lord.

"Guess so," I replied, being all friendly.

He wiped down the bar surface. "You gotta think, kid, that I've been married thirty two years and I learnt a trick or two."

"I'm sure have, pal," I said, the slightest smirk on my face, "but I really don't think it'll work."

"No chick is that complicated."

"It's a guy."

He stopped his whole cleaning the bar thing and gave me another look. Yeah, just because I don't ask for an appletini or something… I took another sip of the drink to let the old guy process the information. Usually, sexuality didn't mean shit or people's opinions didn't mean shit but this area ain't so cosmopolitan. The colonies were pretty damn accepting, the major cities were – a back water town? Not so much. I'm sure the area we had chosen wasn't a total wasteland of heterosexuality but I was also sure we'd be in a tiny minority. Definitely a tiny minority.

"Then I guess my advice ain't as useful as I thought," he said with a wry smile. Seemed I hadn't freaked the dude out. "Though I gotta a question for you, kid – do you love this guy?"

The question made me start. Did I love Heero? Well, we didn't exactly go around saying it or admitting it or being all in touch with our feelings but I guess, yeah, I did. I nodded.

"Then don't sit around drinking away your troubles. Face 'em head on."

Facing trouble head on was kinda our thing so it made sense. I usually didn't shy away from trouble being that my entire life seemed to be getting into trouble so it made sense. Face it head on. I could do that. Openly ask what the hell I'd done to piss him and go from there. It sounded grown up and mature and shit.

"Thanks… though I might need one more drink before I go back."

"One more?"

"Just the one."

He poured and I drank even more slowly. He walked away as another coupla guys entered the bar and he turned on a seriously old screen to some sports news and I thought about what we were doing and what we seemed to be screwing up all the time. Maybe this wasn't the life I wanted. I liked the whole garage thing, the cars, the doing something with my hands and stuff but really, hand on heart and all, it wasn't who I was. Yeah, I didn't want undercover operations with a shit load of morality issues. I didn't want guilt and nearly dying and the scum of the earth to be my daily grind but really, I couldn't deal being this separate. This remote. Not being useful.

But then we'd burnt that bridge pretty damn well. Left L2 and the Preventers without looking back. Might as well have told Une to kiss my ass like I wanted to for her decision to keep up separate from one another for all those years. We were not gonna be welcomed back with open arms, as we'd just gone – protocol be damned – and disappeared. Plus, I didn't feel all that damn confident about the Preventers in general. We knew information was being leaked out and though someone was dead, Murphy, shot dead in the L2 Conference Centre by Roth's little girl, I kinda figured he wasn't the only one and I sure thought that the organisation had a corrupt element.

It was a depressing thought. If we didn't belong in the Preventers and we didn't belong in so-called normal civilian life then like hell did I know what I wanted or what we needed in order to move forward together. It was a damn headache and one I know wouldn't be solved by the bottom of a bottle as much as I longed for that oblivion when shit got too hard to figure out.

My drink was nearly finished, a few more regulars had started arriving and I felt conscious that I wasn't a regular and was being speculated about – sure, look at the guy with the tattoos and the braid. Least the old dude had been pretty decent. Nice guy. I glanced over to the screen that was showing highlights from last night's baseball games and didn't take anything in until the broadcast stopped in the middle of the sports news to turn to something more serious.

I took the last sip of my drink, shrugged back into my leather jacket and was about to leave – money left on the counter, tip that was maybe a little high but it was also because somewhere in the well-meaning conversation had been some advice I needed to listen to. I figured that deserves more than the standard twenty percent. It made me miss Howard, he'd just tell me I was a fucking messed up brat and an ass pirate to boot and tell me to sort my shit out. It was then I realised the bar was all hush and the conversation, jukebox and whatever else made noise in this damn place, was no longer working and the screen's volume was being turned up.

"Shit."

It wasn't my most articulate display of words as I saw the news headlines rolling across the bottom banner of the screen and a familiar figure making a statement on the steps of Sanc Memorial Hospital and it suddenly became very clear that some serious shit had gone down. I reached for my back pocket where I'd usually keep my phone… oh yeah, I'd left fucking pissed and I'd not thought about picking it up on the grounds that I would've had to walk straight past him to the bedside table and he was doing that arms-folded-glare-shit and I was not going to react. I was going to do the dramatic walk out – thank you, ladies and gentleman, I am the king of the dramatic walk out and I kinda take pride in it. It loses its drama when you go back to collect your phone, you know.

Now all I'm thinking is that I'm in deep shit. Heero doesn't know where I am. And he's watching this – damn near he'll want to kill me, strangle me with my own braid – and as tends to happen, I'd totally deserve it.

"I can confirm that an attempt was made on the Vice Foreign Minister Darlian's life and she is currently undergoing surgery at Sanc Memorial Hospital."

"Commander Une – can you confirm whether you have the shooter in custody?"

"The shooter is dead."

"Can you tell us more about the Vice Foreign Minister's condition?"

The reporters were surrounding her like a damn horde of the living dead, held back by agents, throwing microphones in her face but she was composed and unfazed. Give the lady some credit for that.

"I am not able to answer any more questions at this time. A public statement will be made when we have more facts. Good day."

She turned and the image switched back to the studio – sports forgotten entirely and replaced by the now rolling news of Relena Darlian being shot and in critical condition at hospital. Shit.

I turned and left the bar, feeling like I really shouldn't drive over the speed limit considering my alcohol intake but knew there was somewhere I needed to be. Hell, to say Heero had complicated feelings towards Relena was the understatement of the century. Yeah, "feelings" did not mean romantic or sexual but they were confused and basically amounted to some kinda belief that she was the symbol of peace and he needed to understand that she was safe, cared for, and you know, _there_ in the world for him to justify whatever shitty wartime actions he'd done. I know he'd been in touch with her since we came back to earth – encrypted channels and cloak and daggers shit. And I wouldn't deny him that. I have no particular feelings for the Princess either way. She was devastated when he disappeared after I did my whole rejecting him thing and I took her cash and tried to find him so there were times we'd spoken but I felt he held her a little too high on that pedestal, you know. It's not like I want to be placed on that damn pedestal – I do not need to be protected or saved – I am not the damsel in distress in this relationship even though he seems to have a habit of saving me more often that I would like… but hell, maybe I just feel confused too.

Time to just get on the damn bike and get back home. I put my braid down the back of jacket, zipping it up tight so that it didn't flail behind me and secured my helmet before revving and leaving the small bar behind. I thought about the old dude who would think I'd gone back home to face my troubles but really I was heading home because there was something bigger going on.

The drive was shorter than it should've been. I pushed the bike hard, to the limit, felt adrenalin that I hadn't felt truly for so long… felt a bit of who I used to be. The guy who didn't give a shit – the guy who didn't think of my personal safety if there was a job that needed doing and not the guy messing with cars in the middle of nowhere. It didn't surprise me when I pulled in to see Heero standing against the door of the store front, arms folded across his chest and his face completely expressionless only helped by the Ray Bans that hid his eyes. I stood no chance figuring out his moods when his eyes were covered. Figured why he'd done it. Petty shit. He knows I feel like I'm at a disadvantage when I can't see into his eyes so he damn well goes and does that.

The moment I've parked up and got rid of the helmet is the one I realise that this all falls into more dangerous relationship shit as he's got two bags with him – one is his duffle and one is mine – mine that has been hidden in the back of the closet since we went ahead and tried this real relationship shit. The bag that has been packed from the moment I moved in with him and attempted to make a life. A bag with fake IDs and clothes and cash – yeah, plenty of cash in various currencies and it's my go bag. I could justify it and say that one day I figured Roth would try and find us for killing his kid but it ain't because of that and I don't lie.

It's because I don't like being trapped. It's because maybe I was afraid one day I'd have to run from this. It's because maybe I doubted that this would work between us and for that reason I don't say anything as he throws it over to me.

"We have a flight."

"You want me with?"

Ah, yeah, pretty obvious he wants you with, Duo, as he's thrown the duffle bag at you with force and he's doing a good impression of your pissy stompy walk thing towards the car.

He didn't answer and instead puts his bag in the trunk and looks towards me expecting me to do the same. Or I'm guessing. His body language is totally rigid and all military training shit rather than the man I thought I'd been living with – he'd gotten rid of some of that good posture and that standing like a soldier but when in emotional turmoil ... go back to what you know, I guess.

"I need to grab my phone and put the bike away, give me a few, okay?"

At least he nodded as I threw in my bag to join his. He slammed the trunk down with the same amount of force and I reached out a second to touch his hand.

"She'll be okay, you know."

"She's in critical condition."

"Yeah, but she's the chick who came in between a mobile suit battle and lived. You need a lot more than a gun to kill that girl."

I didn't know how serious, neither of us did, and I didn't question that we were going – if Heero felt he needed to be there, then so be it, we'll be there. I picked up a few things in the apartment, changed my t-shirt for the only thing that resembled a shirt and grabbed the phone that I'd left behind. I stood for a moment in this place – the place we'd spent over a year in making our own and trying to find our way. It had been too small, we'd been too damn close and it had been hard figuring everything out but it had been us, just us, and we'd been off everyone's radar and hidden and free. And though I missed the action and missed something, I now felt nostalgic for this life we'd had as it was gonna be over the moment we stepped off a plane in Sanc.

No longer out of touch. No longer just a mechanic and an IT guy. Now we were going to be former Gundam pilots and ex-Preventers and suddenly I figured we should've made a better attempt at this life as really, we could've made it better if both of us had tried.


	2. Things You Should Know

A/N: Just a quick note of thanks to everybody who is already following and favouriting this fic! And I also wanted to answer msusagi - yes, Duo's pacemaker is permanent and it is important to the plot so thanks for making me highlight it.

This chapter's song is Munich by the Editors.

I will warn readers, I am away next week but as chapter 3 is written and beta-d (thanks ELLE) I will put in my doc manager and update from my phone – if it doesn't appear then that will be because the internet signal sucks. I am going to be in the middle of a forest so we'll see how it goes!

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**Chapter Two**

**Things You Should Know**

The drive was pretty silent. I wasn't in the mood to make conversation and I still felt the slight hint of alcohol in my system. I put the radio on but the whole world had started speculating about the condition of a certain princess so I turned it off and put my feet up on the dash, not giving a shit about the dust and dirt I left there.

This was technically his car – practical and boring and shit so I know he damn well looked at me doing it but I still did it as I sat looking through my phone and figuring out who I needed to contact and what jobs I should be doing. Not as easy to run anymore, I figured, no longer as easy as just picking up the go bag despite the fact that I had it packed and ready to go. I looked over to him and put my boots down, rubbed away the hint of mud I'd left behind. I hadn't asked where we were headed – just went along on blind faith and I decided I should ask. Make conversation. Hell, that was damn near impossible when Heero was in his current frame of mind.

"Which airport?"

"Private airfield."

"Distance?"

He glanced at the dash and was calculating, he may have been wearing shades but his mind works in certain ways and in those ways I was well versed. He was calculating distance and speed and how far we'd already travelled to give me an accurate number. Something I still don't know how he does.

"Approximately 45 miles."

"Approximately, 'Ro? You losing your touch being out of action?"

The stab at humour was probably a little misjudged but I figured it was better than the deafening silence of the car ride.

"I cannot calculate potential traffic hazards."

"Yeah," I said, a little resigned and turned to look out of the window at the dusty roads around us. "Can't calculate what you don't know."

Too much we didn't know. I didn't want to say the thing that he was probably thinking as much as I was. If she'd died, we'd know. They'd announce it. It would become the world's biggest news story within minutes so I don't say it. Instead, I looked back at the phone, at the schedule for an old Cadillac wreck I'd been paid a damn nice deposit for the repair and then closed down the screen and shoved it back in my pocket.

"I'm guessing Quatre."

"Yeah."

He hadn't explicitly said why we would be going to be a private airfield but I had two guesses in mind. One was the Preventers but considering our amazing disappearing act, that was a long shot, so my other guess was blondie.

"Thought they were in the colonies," I said, now studying the grime and grit that always seemed to live under my nails and picking it at as this car journey was awkward.

"San Francisco."

That was probably all the words I would get from him unless I pushed and right now, pushing was not the best move. But I'm not usually known for doing the best thing – the right thing. Evidenced by the fact I'm twenty one and my heart only beats with the help of a tiny device so I just go ahead. If he wants to block me out, he can go ahead but I figured we were better to do this _here_, in our car, rather than in front of Quatre and Trowa. Or in Sanc where there would be press and Preventers and the issue of whether Relena was going to survive.

"I wasn't planning on leaving, you know, I just had it in case shit got bad."

It was true. I never truly planned on bailing. I just never truly planned on staying either, somewhere, deep down, I just wasn't a 'one place' kinda guy and I didn't know how to explain that in a way that didn't hurt Heero. As I never wanted to be away from him, I just wanted to know I could move. Fuck if I knew how to explain myself. Let's just say I have a shitload of intimacy issues and leave it at that.

Heero didn't answer, focused, mouth set in a straight line and I wished we weren't driving and we weren't driving towards a flight to the Sanc Kingdom. I wanted to make him look at me.

"'Ro… talk to me."

"You had fake IDs."

"Yeah."

"And money in multiple currencies."

"Well, yeah…"

"And you weren't planning on leaving?"

"No. It was just, you know, there."

Wow. Excellent display of articulateness but I figured that the conversation was over as Heero actually turned on the radio – something I have never seen him do which signalled the fact that he really did not want to talk.

The rest of the car journey was in the less than comfortable silence between us as some music that neither of us liked played quietly in the background on the only radio station that wasn't giving minute by minute updates on Relena's condition. The not talking thing was more reassuring than anything we could discuss. Probably best to let our emotional shit stay underneath the surface. We were both pretty awesome at that. He hid behind his stone wall and I went for the smirk and humour. Both had exactly the same effect.

The private airfield expected us and I would expect no less of Quatre as we were let through gates after a good look at both of us by a dumb looking security guy. A guy who looked like a donut eating cliché. And then Heero pulled the car up on the tarmac off the runway and we got out, grabbed bags, and leaned against it waiting for the jet to land. I thought for a second about leaving the car in a random place but hell, I didn't know how long it would be until we came back or if we ever would. The whole go bag issue could be the end of us. The pressure of Relena coming close to death could be. It wasn't a nice thought so I buried it. Deal with it later. I stood close enough to him against the car that we could touch but we didn't, that small barrier of distance between us as I put my aviators on and looked up to see the descent of the jet.

I raised my hand to my eyes as it began its landing, watching the process I knew so damn well from the other side. There was a rush to landing – not quite as awesome as taking off but there was a rush.

I whistled as the private jet landed. I'd always guessed that Quat had shit like that. Always figured that he'd have a private shuttle and private jet and a yacht and whatever but I'd never really seen the full extent of his wealth. It didn't have obvious markings – I kinda expected a huge Winner Corporations logo in big fuck off lettering but maybe that is not entirely wise being that he was a public target who received a large quantity of death threats in his day to day life. Instead there was no indication it belonged to him at all. It was vaguely disappointing.

The landing made somewhere deep down in me sting – there was nothing on earth or the colonies that compared with piloting – yeah, great sex was fucking incredible and the pure adrenalin of being on the edge of death in the middle of mission had some excitement but piloting, it's in your blood and seeing the jet land smoothly made my heart race. I glanced over to Heero to see if he had some feelings on this – I knew he did, that deep down, like me he'd never felt a rush quite like that. And yeah, piloting a private jet would be nothing like a Gundam, hell, nothing like a space shuttle and getting into L3 X-18999 without dying and exploding but it brought with it longing that I couldn't describe to someone who didn't know it. I was kinda happy to be a passenger most of the damn time but as the stairs descended, there was a part of me that just wanted to shanghai the thing and remember what it felt like to control something like that and fly.

With the stair's descent appeared a familiar blonde head and that was followed by Trowa. I tried to think of the last time we'd spoken. The last time we'd seen them was fucking forever but that was all Q. He was still overseeing the final parts of the L2 Project and whatever else the earth sphere's richest twenty one year old does with his time and well, that life didn't really have much time for old war buddies. It seemed like we all needed a motherfucking crisis to get us in the same room. I thought about making a joke about it but then it felt wrong because Wufei wasn't with us and technically it ain't all of us. And 'Fei, shit, I hadn't spoken to him since he kissed my forehead and did the damn honourable thing – even though I'd royally fucked him over. I'd heard from Quat he'd left undercover ops in a storm cloud and had gone to a different division of the Preventers whenever we'd last spoken… which was a million years ago.

Wufei wasn't something me and 'Ro talked about – mainly because I'd declared some kind of feelings for him on that stupid recording Heero heard when I was hoping I was going to die. Being alive, having my heart artificially kept beating and generally having Heero hear Duo feelings vomit was not something we discussed and 'Fei was not a topic that I'd brought up for so long.

There are some things that will never cease to amaze me about Quatre and I'm thinking about that when we exchange a big manly bro hug – or maybe not so manly but we're both not smiling despite the long term absence. There's still this openness despite all the shit – all the bad stuff, Quat knows, he ain't naïve, and sure as fuck Trowa can't hide all the threats that have been made on his life, but then he just goes ahead. Doesn't care. Tries to make things better – tries to atone like we all do in our own little ways.

When Quat released me, I gave him a lopsided smile.

"I'd say it's good to see you guys but under the circumstances it kinda sucks."

I get a small smile and Quat turned to Heero. I'm guessing that Heero and Trowa have some sort of silent greeting and I just did a raise of my eyebrows to acknowledge him – fuck if I will _ever _know what to say to that guy. Give me a hundred years and a full psyche evaluation and I'd still never know. Yeah, at times, even I don't have a witty line and lose my supply of seemingly endless sarcasm.

"Heero," he said, sympathy that he wouldn't want or need in his voice.

I'm surprised at Quatre's utter fearlessness as he hugs Heero in a kinda awkward way. Physical contact is definitely one of those areas that Heero still struggles with. I've gotten somewhere – when we were around town, he'd let me lean against him and shit like that – but other people? Not so much. The only reason he doesn't physically flinch is that it is Quatre and he is one of us. But its awkward and clearly only one person is engaging the hug. When he stepped back, Heero nodded and that was apparently all his greeting. I wanted to make a joke about how me and Quat had ended up with a coupla of silent types with issues but right now… I'm still figuring that lightning the mood is not a good move.

"She's still in surgery, Wufei sent us the initial report and it looks promising. The bullet entered her in the lower abdomen. It appeared to miss anything vital," Quatre explained but directed his words to Heero.

"They know who?" I asked.

"We have the report on a tablet – you can look when the wheels are up."

"Then lead the way."

I readjusted my bag over my shoulder and let Heero go in front of me to board up the small set of stairs. I'd never been on a private jet and there was a certain flashiness and wealth about the whole thing that made me attempt to rub some of the dust off the soles of my boots – not that it would do any good.

On entering, I saw the door to the cockpit open and instantly recognised the pilot and co-pilot. Felt like a million years ago. Rashid stood but Abdul remained in the co-pilot chair, just looked over his sunglasses at me and I raised an eyebrow in his direction.

"Master Duo," Rashid said and offered his hand in greeting.

Standing in the cockpit door, it reminded me of meeting the Maganacs at fifteen and thinking that Rashid was freaking tall but now at twenty one I was still thinking the same. I thought maybe becoming a fully-fledged adult would make him less intimidating but hell, I suppose, he was a big guy and I'd not been blessed with height.

"You know, you really don't have to do the master shit," I said, embarrassed, releasing his hand scratching the back of my head.

"Oh, he does," Quatre said and I turned to see the extent of the luxury provided by a private jet and tried not to react like the poor relation who doesn't know how to act in polite company or something.

The seats were nothing like standard shuttle flights, four in large plush leather, a table in between them with an arrangement of flowers and a fruit basket and muffins. Jesus, I just sometimes totally forgot this – that this was where Quatre came from and no wonder he'd had a ton of guilt over how things had happened between us as he could afford this and I couldn't have afforded to buy the stolen motorcycle I'd been on all those years ago at that party in Sanc. Oh wait, I could. Just with stolen funds.

Quat and Tro were settling back into seats and I let Heero take the window seat for some reason – I felt his mood was not entirely conducive for conversation so the fact that he could look out and watch the sky or something might be soothing for him. Fuck did I know despite the fact he'd removed his sunglasses, putting them in his duffle which he left at the side of his feet and I did the same with my own. I sat down next to him feeling weird to be on a flight surrounded by this level of luxury. No fighting over arm rests. Seats so large that it was damn near impossible to touch Heero never mind irritate him.

"No leggy blonde air hostesses, huh, Quat?"

"I travel with minimal staff – makes security easier, less people know my whereabouts," he replied, his eyes glancing towards Trowa who nodded at that.

The door was being closed and pre-flight checks were being done and Trowa silently passed over a tablet to Heero, the relevant pages already open of whatever preliminary report was available. I leaned over the armrest to see the supply of crime scene photographs and the limited intelligence that was currently available.

"They don't know who or why yet," Quatre said, as I watched Heero quickly flick through pages of text and images. "All they know is that at an official function, a single gunman opened fire who had been employed as a waiter for the evening."

I straightened up and looked at Quatre as the sound of the engines reverberated and the jet began to move. Our conversation stalled as the jet had stopped in place for its ascent and then the sudden feeling of take-off, of engine on full throttle and the seemingly impossible fight between gravity and machine that we all knew damn well – the fight that the pilot won as I saw the ground disappear from my vantage point and the jet continue to climb. None of us felt any fear of take-off considering our considerable experience – tell me there are four guys who are twenty one in the same room who've had more flight time than us collectively and I'll tell say you're a liar – but maybe there's a reverence or something about it. Maybe we all miss it. I'm sure Quatre or Trowa could just pilot the thing if they wanted. I would ask Quat if they still did. Ask if I could borrow the thing and pilot it to Vegas or something.

"They check that shit," I said finally, after the jet had levelled, "they don't just let a terrorist pretend to be a waiter. It's Sanc."

Quatre shrugged. "They missed him. His background check was completely clear. The Preventers think false identity and one that was very complicated – finger prints amended somehow. He had help."

The image of the shooter was on the tablet. A name attached. Aaron Jones. It sounded pretty damn dull as I looked over Heero's shoulder at the guy. He looked young. And the text stated he was British, educated in London and had travelled to Sanc to complete his post graduate study. He'd taken a job for a catering company – a heavily vetted and high class catering company through a recommendation from a rich family member. And that's how he'd ended up in but it still seemed impossible to me – the security checks for employees and visitors and fucking anybody's admittance into the Sanc palace was extreme and I don't understand how one average looking guy could bypass that.

I turned back to Quatre and Trowa leaving Heero to scan through the same set of images. "How close did the shooter get?"

"Within a foot according to eye witnesses," Trowa answered, the first thing I'd heard him say in this whole reunion. But then his job was security and it was him probably critiquing the team that had allowed someone to get within that distance to their intended target. I imagine nobody got that near Q – Trowa had that whole protective bullshit thing and I'm sure he'd rip someone limb from limb if something happened to Quat. Probably made him the best fucking head of security ever. Plus, he had lions – shit if that's not a scary thought.

"Then why ain't she dead?"

I heard myself say the sentence before the inevitable "fuck, I shouldn't say that" thing had kicked in. I realised I'd said the words that no one else dared speak – and I'd been too motherfucking blunt. Oh, well, can't take it back.

"If he got that close then you shoot to kill. You shoot to the head, the heart… vital organs," I said realising how terribly insensitive I am being but, you know, once you start, can't fucking stop. "But she's alive. The stomach. It hurts but it don't kill unless she don't receive medical attention straight away. That suggests to me that they don't want her dead."

My whole theory is unwelcome from the other occupants of the jet and I figured that.

"Duo's right. Getting that close to a target should guarantee a kill," Heero agreed, his voice monotone but I looked over at him and tried to be reassuring.

That stopped the discussions with a bang and I realised we were all probably lost in our own thoughts. Quatre made a comment about getting some sleep and it proved a good idea – guessed none of us would know when we'd sleep again once we landed so the lights got dimmed and the windows shutters put down as we flew over the continental United States towards the Atlantic Ocean.

I looked over to Heero who'd finally put down the tablet having read every detail a dozen times. He did not need to read something more than once usually but now he'd read everything so many times and looked at every crime scene photograph so closely. I couldn't tell what he was thinking as he rested his head so that he looked away from me. My gaze shifted to where Quat and Tro were, both apparently sleeping though with former Gundam pilots, they might not be. Could be just using relaxation techniques, breathing deeply and trying to force sleep and rest.

The armrest had been moved between them and Quatre was leaning against Trowa's shoulder. It was not an overly sweet or romantic position. There were no arms around each other, instead, just this gentle touch. I'd observed them in the past and seen that while they so weren't a perfect couple – I knew that, from Quatre, from the fact that the extent of their relationship was hidden and the shit storm of pressure that put on them – but they looked natural together. And it felt almost too intimate to observe it. It was like, I could handle seeing them make out or something but that's all about lust and shit, but that sitting together and being vulnerable and connected – that was more intimate than any sexual position or anything me and Heero had ever done together. It made me look back towards Heero, seeing his hand loose on the arm rest that still divided us despite the fact we did not need to hide us, _this,_ on board a private jet with friends and some employees of said friend. I reached out to his fingers, twining them with my own cautiously and looking at that connection rather than his face in the low level lighting of the cabin. I couldn't say sorry or tell him that everything was okay but I could touch him and that… right now, that had to be enough.

"Do you want us to be like that?" he said, quietly, in the gloom.

I blinked and looked up, realising what Heero was asking me. It made me pause. I had no snappy retort or quick and smart comeback for that. I didn't need to do that – be like Quatre and Trowa. I needed him but I didn't need constant reassurance physically or even emotionally. Maybe I was a little too independent. Maybe we both were. My focus went back our hands, both callused from too many battles and too many violent incidents.

"Naw, just want us to be like us."


	3. She Didn't Choose This Role

A/N: Hopefully this chapter works as I try and do this via my phone on holiday…Song for this chapter is Panic! at the Disco's Time to Dance.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

**She Didn't Choose this Role**

It was morning by the time the jet made its final descent into New Port City and we'd crossed something like five damn time zones in the process. There had been intermittent sleeping between us all and then hushed conversations and passing the tablet around as though one of us might be able to figure something out that the other's couldn't even though the initial report was as informative as a gossip column in a shitty magazine.

I'd wished I'd brought headphones or something but then this trip wasn't planned and despite having a go bag ready, I didn't actually keep anything fun in it so when I was awake I spent my time watching Heero sleep or thinking – which sucks. Despite the extreme comfort of the private jet, it wasn't a fun flight and it seemed to be spent ignoring each other's eyes a lot.

The landing was smooth as the wheels hit the tarmac and I could totally see the advantage of the whole private jet thing – no waiting for irritating passengers, the door opens and boom – out into the cooler climes of Northern Europe. It had been so freaking long since I'd been in Sanc that I'd forgotten the whole temperature thing – used to the warmth of settling down in one location that I hadn't had a whole lot of forethought about the climate. Heero had. He shrugged on his denim jacket over his t-shirt and I purposefully didn't roll my eyes – even in emotional confusion, there is a touch of practicality to his mental process and he'd thought about this shit. I hadn't spent a large amount of time in Sanc and it felt frosty as I made my way down the stairs and to where I saw a black town car parked. I should grab a hoodie outta my bag but felt that wasn't really Sanc worthy clothing.

It wasn't surprising to see who was leaning against the car, Preventer uniform and all, and then it made five. He exchanged pleasantries with Quatre and Trowa before it became apparent that it was only us left to say something.

"Yuy," he said, inclining his head.

"Chang."

It wasn't exactly hostile but then it wasn't actually the most friendly reunion I'd ever seen. I felt vaguely awkward as I offered a hand which he accepted and the handshake seemed weird and outta step. I'm not a handshake kinda guy anyway so it felt odd considering the last time we'd seen each other I was in a hospital and he kissed my forehead.

"Long time no see, 'Fei."

The smallest of smiles was on his face – I still guess no one got away with calling him 'Fei apart from yours truly so I guess he'd not heard that since L2.

"Maxwell," he began but didn't say anything more as though he could feel the glare on the back of his neck.

I knew the hostility wasn't all down to whatever fucked up feelings I had for Wufei – I knew Heero still blamed him for three years of thinking I was dead or whatever the hell he tormented himself with in the dark of the night on cold undercover jobs. But I also figured that there was something to it from the whole professed feelings on a recording device – that I had said that Wufei was there for me when Heero wasn't and that we could've had something. So basically it amounted to awkwardness that was not needed and for which I was almost entirely to blame. The car ride was going to be fun – just as trip to the other side of the world had been.

Wufei jumped into the driver's seat and in some silent understanding thing, Trowa called shotgun without a word which then left me to sit in between Heero and Quat, trying not to say shit to make the situation worse. There was no real discussion of where we were going – if we were separating – as it was acknowledged we'd be driving towards Sanc Memorial Hospital and that was where we were headed. I looked out past Heero's head at the locations that passed us by – New Port City had been rebuilt after the war, the great rebuilding project, and a lot of restoration work had happened. The place reeked of money and I'd always felt like I didn't belong in the place. Always felt awkward, like this was no place for me and not just being from L2 or being an ex-street rat or something, it was the amount of violence and killing I'd done too. Didn't want to sit in a place that prided itself on talk of pacifism and was all about old money.

"She is out of surgery," Wufei said. "The doctors see no reason why she will not make a complete recovery."

My hand sought out Heero's but he pushed it aside like he didn't want my touch. I looked up to his eyes and there was a clear message there – this was now a mission and shit if I was going to distract and act, you know, like the man he'd been fucking. It rankled, it damn near hurt and I felt I probably deserved it for the whole go bag situation – that I deserved his pissed reaction and his reverting back to mission shit – but it didn't mean I had to like it.

Instead, I turned my head to look out of the other window and towards Quatre who seemed to have figured something out by the tiniest changes of body language. He quirked his eyebrow subtly and I just shrugged my shoulders. Fuck, I didn't need to bring our relationship shit out _now _and sure as hell I was not going to do in front of the guys. Wasn't needed.

Little else was said for the rest of the journey. I figured if I wasn't talking or Quat wasn't then there wasn't really anyone to keep up the small talk so we just descended into silence. I figured we were all tired. I knew the four of us hadn't slept properly on the flight despite the leather reclining seats and sure as hell, I did not know when Wufei last slept as I'd seen the hint of tiredness.

The drive up to the hospital made my stomach drop. The press were all camped out, the vans with names of news networks emblazoned across them, and I guessed that this was fucking it – that if the five of us got out of the town car together then no matter how well my identity was scrubbed out it would still make some front page news. Thankfully, and I am truly thankful to whichever fucking god, Wufei didn't drive to the main parking lot and the front of the hospital, instead opting for some back entrance, a supply entrance located around the side, and there were numerous Preventer agents guarding the area. I felt the tension in Heero's body ease beside me – a tension I hadn't realised he was feeling until I felt him relax. Maybe he thought the same thing as me. I liked some anonymity – I didn't want to become Quatre, I didn't want to be visible. We'd been visible at sixteen and I'd hated every moment of it – I never wanted that again.

Once we stopped, the car doors were opened by helpful agents and Wufei handed over the keys to a young dude who gave a swift "yes, sir" to Agent Chang. I raised my eyebrows slightly at the deference and shit sacredness of that agent as I followed Heero outta his side of the vehicle, grabbing our bags to take with us. It seemed maybe despite the change of role or demotion or whatever the fuck had happened in the blast radius of a screwed up mission on L2 – Wufei was still a shit scary agent and the lesser agent knew that.

We entered the hospital through a side door that cut through a kitchen and we were being led past numerous guards at what I presumed worked like checkpoints. It really did pay to be the former Queen of the fucking World as the amount of security was freaking incredible and it seemed only the fact that that we were expected was letting us through these security checks without elaborate screenings. I did not want to think about the staff of Sanc Memorial. I imagined that they would've had their entire pasts looked into – every speeding ticket, every drunken brawl, hell every attempt to pick up a hooker seen – and only those with the squeakiest, cleanest pasts would be allowed to remain in the hospital. I also saw that there were not many patients around which I figured. They'd have been moved, those who could and weren't, you know, dying transferred to some other location and no regular visiting for families. I wondered if Relena would like that – I figured she wouldn't want all this shit done because of her – girl thought too damn much about the rest of the world and had that whole caring too much thing going on. Could remember her big eyes pleading with me to find Heero – just so that she _knew _he hadn't died or something.

Didn't tell her as I looked into those eyes that I knew he hadn't died because, fuck, if he had I would've followed him as it would've been my damn fault.

The floor that the Princess was on was even more heavily guarded and a door opened into a waiting area that was full of people – too many damn people. Relena's staff and Preventers and nurses and doctors and now us. I wanted to exit pretty darn swiftly now – there was a vague understanding of why Heero would want to be here and Wufei was a Preventer so yeah, their presence had a point of some kind. Quatre was Quatre and had connections and shit so I assumed that, at times, his path crossed with Relena's and so that made sense. And obviously Trowa followed him around like a body guard/lover crossbreed or something. Though right now the whole 'lover' thing was dropped totally as a conversation was struck between a man and Quatre and the politic speak went over my head as I just fought the fight or flight impulse. Maybe Heero wanted me to act subtle and all but then he'd not told me to go – though maybe he figured after the whole bag shit that telling me to go would be like giving me an invitation to leave him. Fuck knew.

And I really didn't want to be here when there was Sally, Noin and – Jesus, Christ, damn Merquise – yeah, I figured that being a big bro and all would entitle him to be here but I just forgot all these people I'd not seen since the damn war. Or just after before I went undercover. It would be like some big party if not for the fact that Relena was lying in a hospital bed.

It meant we made awkward conversation about where we'd been and Relena's condition until Heero left me alone to go talk to her security team and I just looked at him and said "fine" – leaving me in a place I sure as hell didn't want to be or belong, drinking bad machine coffee and not making conversation as I silently sat waiting.

We'd been at the hospital a few hours when Quat decided that they should leave and check into the hotel and I decided to go with but figured at least I should find Heero to see if he was actually going to come as there was nothing we could do at this damn hospital and I needed sleep. And he probably did too. Even superman needs sleep. With a look from the Preventer agents guarding, they let me along the corridor that Heero had left down hours ago and then I stopped in the doorway of what was Relena's room.

I looked in on the room and half expected Heero to be there, head bowed or something in the darkening light and her to be covered in wires and machines. She was covered in wires and machines but he wasn't there – remembered that he was probably talking with her security detail still and I was about to turn around and leave the Princess to her slumber when I heard the smallest damn voice.

"Duo?"

I didn't wince or anything at the sound of my name and I looked at the beefy agent at the door who only nodded in response and I went inside. I guess I'm still too damn distinctive to be not recognised as I hovered in the doorway before I walked across the room and realised there was no one in here. All those people in the waiting room discussing her and the press and the shooter and here she was, alone and hurt.

"Hey, Princess," I said and she wrinkled her nose at the use of the word.

"You were the only one who ever called me that."

"I'm the only one who calls a lotta people a lotta things. I can get away with it, you know. I'm kinda adorable."

She smiled – I was going for a laugh at least but I guessed she was still kinda outta it. I've been shot, I've been in the hospital and those drugs, which while they are fucking _amazing,_ do strange shit to both mind and body so I sympathised a little with the chick. I'm used to people not getting my humour, too. I lived with Heero, after all.

"I should get someone, you don't wanna be alone."

"No, they'll only fuss and say what we need to do and I…" she stopped mid-sentence and her brows knotted together and she looked stumped.

"I could get Noin or somethin'," I said, putting one hand in my pocket and held onto my duffle with other and felt damn awkward. I felt I really shouldn't be in here. I so wasn't the one meant to be talking to Relena. We'd had less conversations than I had fingers and I figured that she was wasting her valuable time having a rambling conversation with me. "Your brother's outside and I'm sure the Preventers wanna talk to you as soon as possible."

"No. Please. Stay."

Those words made me feel more than weird and she made a gesture that suggested I take the chair that was located next to her bed. I decided to shrug and go with it. Maybe she just wanted someone and I was less demanding than her staff or some Preventer agent. Her eyes fluttered shut in a way I'd felt before myself – that whole slightly weird sensation like the world is suddenly made of water or glass or something and consciousness is something slippy and weird. I thought about leaving if the chick was going to sleep like her body needed but in my attempt to move she stirred. And I'm damn stealthy.

"Where were you shot?" she asked like we were talking about where the tea was or something.

"Shoulder."

"Did it hurt?"

"Don't really remember, was kinda having a heart attack at the same time so," I shrugged, "you know."

"Can I see?"

I blinked at her and I'm guessing my face said it all. She wanted to see where I'd been shot – hell the girl must be really out of it if she wanted to see _that_. It wasn't the best scar I had. That was the one over my heart, that vertical cut that showed what an ass I'd been and worked as the best damn reminder of how close I'd actually danced with death.

"I think you're high, Princess."

"I want to see the scar," she said, pouting.

The girl is the Vice Foreign Minister and she's pouting like a five year old who wants cookies and I can't help the small quirk of my lips. Hell, I really don't think she has any interest in my body as there is only one former Gundam pilot she'd want to see shirtless and at least I'd changed outta a t-shirt so I undid the top few buttons, sliding it down to the small pucker that indicated where Zee's bullet had entered my body. Like I said, not an impressive wound and I redid my shirt feeling like this was the sort of scene nobody wanted to walk in on – they'd maybe think it was creepy and weird. I thought it was creepy and weird.

"It hurt when I was shot."

I was thinking this was the weirdest fucking conversation I'd ever had. Her language seemed to be descending into something kid-like I realised her hand was on the drug control button – which would explain the slight slurring.

"It generally does. Kinda why it's best to avoid being shot. Ask Heero."

She giggled. Damn giggled, and I decided this was my moment to leave before it descended into something.

"He told me he loved you," she said and it was in a singsong kinda way. Again, like a child and I decided to deflect this as I really couldn't imagine Heero telling her that. He didn't tell _me _that and I was the one in his bed.

"I think you've had too many drugs to be talkin' to me."

"I have had the right amount." She looked kinda hazy.

"Yeah, I bet you say that when you've had too much booze… remind me to get you drunk sometime when you've not just been shot."

She just pursed her lips together and hmmm'd and I got up to go and find Heero like I'd originally intended.

"I'd like to get drunk… I never have."

I looked down at her in that bed and felt sorry for that chick more than anything. She'd become a symbol not a person, she'd been forced into a very adult world at a young age and I'd escaped that. I'd done the drunken wanderings, I'd lived a little, but she hadn't and she was now lying alone and kinda outta her mind a little and it was a little sad. She was used to being strong but nearly dying puts a lot of shit into perspective, let me tell you, and she wanted someone who wasn't going to talk to her about duty or any of that shit. And so that left me. Duo Maxwell for your comic amusement.

"You know Quat has this freaking awesome private jet and we'll all go and we'll hit Vegas and we'll all rock the suits and you can do the slutty dress," I began and she raised her eyebrows at the slutty dress comment so I redacted, "okay, not slutty but classy or somethin'. Better?"

"Better."

"And we bet on black all night because it's gotta come out at some point, you know? And then we get wasted and I let you do jello shots off Heero's abs. Sound like a plan?"

I think the jello shot comment took a moment for her to comprehend or maybe the drugs were making her drowsy.

"Jello shots?"

"Yeah and I mean, hell, Heero still works out and stuff so they're rock hard and I'm giving you total permission here so yeah."

Her face splits into a girlish grin that makes her look less of the young stateswoman or whatever she is and more like a normal twenty one year old. Even in her drugged state, she probably knows I'm talking complete bullshit as Heero would never let me do that to him but we seem to be sharing some kinda moment and she looks happier so I'm taking it as a win.

"You are good for him," she said, finally.

"Princess, you are so the only one that thinks that."

"No… you are. I see that now."

Relena made a muffled noise and her eyes fluttered and I guessed I could finally make my escape. I walked quietly and almost felt like muttering under my breath. I didn't see that. There would have to be someone out there better than me for him but instead, I just left her in the low light and let her get the sleep she damn well needed.


	4. Savour Hate

A/N: Hi all – back from my trip and thankfully chapter three did work despite being in the middle of a forest (wonders of modern technology and all). Thanks for the reviews of the last chapter and new followers etc. - always appreciated! The song for this chapter is God & Satan by Biffy Clyro

**Chapter Four**

**Savour Hate**

The hotel was as swanky as I expected and I entered into what was meant to be mine and Heero's room alone, finding out it was in the general vicinity of Quat and Tro's which was located a coupla doors down the hallway. I didn't allow the bellhop to take Heero's duffle or mine as I didn't want to be separated from my shit. It was an instinct I'd always had. That as a kid when you had so few damn belongings what you did have you guarded with fists and teeth and whatever. I never let bags go in cargo holds of shuttles, I kept them in the overhead lockers, I didn't like people touching my shit and I supposed I'd always be the same. That I'd come a long way from the streets, heck, I knew that as I dropped the bags on the bed and walked over to the window and balcony that overlooked a beautiful leafy green park – but however far I came somewhere in me was that little street kid with wild hair who listened to Solo's lessons like they were the fucking ten commandments or something. Never let anyone near your shit unless you want it stolen.

Lesson learnt.

Heero didn't come with us. I found him in what had become a security war room sitting at a laptop already looking like he'd taken over command of the security staff as they were being all deferential and following his orders. I told him I'd take his bag and that he could pick up another card key for our room at the reception desk as I was gonna do, you know, what normal people do, which is get some sleep when they've crossed multiple time zones. He seemed awkward discussing our sleeping arrangement and I just thought fine and walked out in what wasn't exactly a pissy way but I will admit, not entirely dignified.

It was when I left the room that I saw Zechs who was leaning against the damn doorframe wearing a Preventer uniform that he'd discarded the jacket of and he had watched our little exchange with something that may have been curiosity. Fuck did I know. Barely knew the guy.

"Trouble in paradise?" he'd said and it took all of my saint-like patience acquired while living with Heero not to either say something inappropriate with plenty of fucks or to just punch him in the face.

I'm a better person. I didn't do either. New found maturity and all.

"None of your _damn_ business."

And it totally wasn't, I thought, seething even now as I walked across the swanky room. I felt like everyone had a damn opinion on us – from Quatre's looks, from Relena's words and even Zechs – a guy I didn't know personally and whose only real connection to either of us was some fucked up wartime rivalry that he and Heero had. I knew this was why I didn't want to be here – it was like being in a light box and this was before we'd even talked officially to the Preventers or anything.

I opened the sliding glass door and stepped outside feeling the cool air. It was only five but it was getting dark and I could see the antiquey looking street lights turning on below and the night getting colder but I had already declined Quatre's dinner invitation. I walked back into the room, looked in my duffel and took out the dishevelled packet of cigarettes and found a matchbook from a bar a world away. Misty's. Home or as near as damn near that I'd ever come to one. It just wasn't worth thinking about as I walked back out onto the balcony and lit one leaning against the balcony edge.

I thought today had been weird and I was gonna go for the fact I was damn tired and hungry and a million other things to justify my current mood. Yeah, Heero had totally blown me off for her and I was vaguely pissed but I was more mature than that. Or so I hoped.

Really, I probably wasn't being mature, smoking out on the balcony and doing it because I knew it damn well pissed Heero off and I wasn't meant to smoke as I was meant to be super healthy now. Something that Heero would remind me of. Not that I needed reminding – the scar was there and sometimes I unconsciously felt a weird skipped beat or something and it reminded me that a piece of small tech kept me alive. Probably just me being a hypochondriac or something but I was sure sometimes I felt the thing. I thought about ordering room service and stubbed out the cigarette on the concrete before throwing it over the side to the street below as though I was hiding evidence. We didn't need to fight and I really didn't need to do something to purposefully piss him off.

I walked back into the room – thought about pouring a glass of the vodka from the dinky bottle in the mini bar despite the freaking prices and taking a shower and just getting some sleep when the vidphone rang.

I guessed it would be Quat again – he'd looked at me with those big baby blues and tried to persuade me to go with him and Trowa for dinner at a nearby restaurant where we'd be in our own private room and I just looked at him, gawping a little – talk about third wheel. I really didn't want to go but I was sure Quatre felt guilty leaving me alone, but really, I wasn't great company and I just wanted a quick buzz of alcohol and a club sandwich from the ridiculously priced room service and to go the fuck to sleep.

I clicked the button on the phone and blinked at the image on the screen. I'd expected Quatre. Not Wufei.

"Hey," I said, after a moment, realising I'd just had my mouth open a little and not responded to him.

"I think we should talk," Wufei said, straight forward as ever. "Can you meet me in the lobby bar in fifteen minutes?"

There was a part of me that thought this was totally weird – that Wufei was approaching me for some kinda heart to heart and that I really was too damned tired and on edge to be going to have a "talk" or whatever the hell we were going to be having. Then I glanced back to the room, saw the two bags left and the knowledge that Heero wasn't going to be here for some time. If he did come back when I was actually awake. I imagined he'd just come in so late that we didn't have to talk so we'd have another few days of this passive aggressive bullshit thing. I turned my focus back to the screen and to a composed face that revealed nothing. This talk could be Preventer related. It wasn't always to do with me being an asshole. So I nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be down in fifteen."

Not being one for long chit chats on vidphones anyway, Wufei just disconnected the call and I went to splash freezing cold water over my face to at least make myself feel more awake. I grabbed a toothbrush from my bag to attempt to remove some of the smoke smell and then changed outta the shirt I'd been in for far too many hours. Finally, I picked up my wallet, phone and room card key and went to find the lobby bar.

It didn't really need finding, as I walked past the reception desks and then walked into a dimly lit bar with very few people in it. I guessed, firstly, that it was only like five and I also guessed it was damn expensive so not a lotta patrons. It wasn't difficult to see where 'Fei was and he had taken a stool at the bar, an actual amber coloured drink that had to be alcoholic in front of him, staring at it as though it contained some mysteries to life and existence.

As I made my way across the bar, I saw he was still in Preventer uniform but it looked crumpled and his jacket was laid on the chair beside him, his tie loose. Suppose it was a long day for all of us and God only knew where he'd been prior to getting that call.

He looked in my direction as I approached, and removed his jacket to another seat, silently offering me the stool next to him. I hopped up to it and saw on closer inspection that he looked more tired than I'd first observed. There were even a few strands of black hair out of that tight pony tail. And Wufei was not like me in that sometimes I just gave up on my braid – occasional days when I forgotten the sentimental reasons attached to it and just wanted it damn gone – and just let strands go off in whatever direction they liked. Wufei always looked put together. Now he looked kinda scruffy. I'd never seen him look kinda scruffy.

"Long day," I said.

"Indeed."

The bartended noted me and I ordered a double bourbon knowing that it was another thing Heero would hate me for but right now I really didn't care. I started a tab, giving the room number, thinking I might be here for some time.

"So why the talk? We don't have to do the whole cloak and daggers routine anymore."

"I'm the lead on this investigation," he said, swirling the glass around and his eyes looking at that rather than me.

I felt relieved. We were gonna talk work shit – I could deal with that.

"Thought you were undercover and shit."

"I moved departments. The undercover division is no longer my responsibility."

I nodded even though I knew that – but then I didn't want him to know I talked with Quatre behind his back. We had too much history for that.

"You miss me?" I said, teasingly, then realised it crossed the line. "I mean, you miss working with a reckless asshole like me?"

A small smile graced his lips, only a slight quirk at the corners to show his amusement. "No other asset gave me grey hairs like you."

"Yeah but no other asset's middle name is trouble."

"You don't have a middle name."

"Yeah, but if I did, it _so_ would be trouble. Or chaos. Something cool."

He took a sip of his drink and looked away and I followed suit – worrying how much the damn drink would cost in a place like this, what with how smooth the taste was. Of course, I had a tab that would just be added to the hotel bill and money was really not issue for me but I still had a certain reservation about paying a ridiculous amount of cash for something like a drink. Can take the boy outta L2 but not the L2 outta the boy or something like that. Really wasn't fucking sure of the phrase.

"I need a partner," he said, simply, putting down the drink carefully on the stupid piece of paper that barman dished out as coasters in fancy places. "I need someone who I work well with. Who thinks outside the box. Who is competent."

He gave me a moment to take in those words. I knew Wufei really had never played well with others – it took Wing ZERO for him to acknowledge the fact he needed us during the damn war and actually grace us with his presence aboard Peacemillion. Then he ended up on the wrong side during the Mariemaia shit. So yeah, I guessed someone he worked well with was a difficult thing to find. And we worked well together. Or at least, we did, when I wasn't giving him those grey hairs or fucking missions up. And thinking outside the box was kinda my thing – and hell, if he figured I was competent then I'd take that as a compliment.

"I quit," I stated. "I ran the hell away. I didn't do any formal resignation. You ain't telling me they'd have me back."

"I have not had much success with partners. Une agreed with this proposition."

"So they'd have me back? Standard Preventer and all? Uniform and shit?"

Wufei nodded, solemnly. "The tie isn't mandatory."

I chuckled and shook my head. He remembered my aversion to ties. Jesus. "I gave this up, 'Fei. I have a business. I'm just Joe Average now. Really don't wanna be back chasing after bad guys again."

"I never thought you'd be happy playing house with Yuy."

The words were cool and I felt the pissed offness that had previously been reserved for Heero rising again. Playing house? Fuck. That's what people thought we were doing? I thought I could just walk away from this conversation but maybe he'd realised he'd crossed a damn line – he'd seen me pissed. He'd seen me damn near murderous in a fancy hotel after a long undercover finding out that Heero was not only alive but fine and working for him so when he spoke again it was a less calculating tone.

"I thought with Yuy taking the job as Relena's head of security you'd want to do something that was more befitting of your skills."

Then I went from pissed, to confused, back to pissed in a nanosecond.

"You didn't know," 'Fei said, as though realising his mistake.

"No. Kinda didn't."

"I assumed –"

I put my hand up to stop whatever the hell he was going to say and then grabbed my glass, drinking the rest of the contents before putting it back and not caring that I'd not aimed for the little circle of paper. Give the bartender something to do.

"Yeah, you would assume," I said heavily.

Yeah, people would think that people who are meant to be in a committed relationship, even if it's a fucked and complicated one, talk to each other before making huge, life changing decisions. Oh, I knew I totally deserved this for the go bag but it was so… so fucking something and I was as angry as I'd been for a damn long time. It felt like Shinigami had reared its ugly head and it wouldn't be me he'd be having a fucking fight with, it would be the alter-ego I'd abandoned back on L2 when I'd killed Dallas.

Wufei started to speak again but I totally wasn't going to listen and I needed to be alone. Needed to process and I didn't need someone to try and reason with me. I wanted to be flaming pissed when he came back, I wanted us to fight and for this silent bullshit thing be done. We could break up or we could make up but it felt like it was one or the other. Fuck.

"Don't. I don't wanna hear shit. Just take this as accepting your offer."

With that I left him, walked out of the bar and only took a moment to breathe when I was in the elevator, pushing the fourth floor button with a little too much force and leaning against the metallic bar at the side. And I realised I'd just done exactly the same thing Heero did. I'd just accepted a job offer with the Preventers without considering him or us or any feelings he may have about it. I'd just said yes to being Wufei's partner and would now be investigating the Relena assassination attempt.

And damn, I thought, we really are as bad as each other.


	5. The Thaw

A/N: I will place an additional warning at the beginning of this chapter for m/m sexual relations of the lemon variety… just in case anyone didn't figure we'd get there eventually ;)

Song is the Thaw by Biffy Clyro

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**Chapter Five**

**The Thaw **

The night was getting colder but despite that I was sitting on the balcony of the hotel room as I didn't know where else to go. I shoulda put more clothes on but that involved going back inside so instead I sat freezing my ass off in boxers and a hoodie, the pack of smokes damn near finished as well as some of the contents of the mini-bar and the remains of the room service sandwich and fries that I had remembered to order even caught up in my whole angry/emotional shit storm.

I thought if I stayed in the room I'd probably fall asleep which is likely what I should've been doing – not sitting here getting more and more pissed and building it all up until I could explode at Heero. I figured he was really gonna regret coming back to the room when he arrived. And I really wondered if I was doing the right thing – maybe I should just bail. Maybe a break from whatever the fuck this relationship was would be for the best, you know. Maybe we needed some damn space – we'd been living and working together and just _there _all the damn time for so long that sometimes I figured we were so fucked because we had to spend nearly every minute of every day in close proximity. Suppose neither of us were used to that. Yeah, I knew I was the more sociable one – that I'd lived my life in gangs and aboard Sweepers' ships and shit but there was always somewhere to go – somewhere to be alone and just think. I think neither of us had that in what was meant to be our home. It had just become damn claustrophobic.

I guess I'd actually fallen asleep outside at some point as I heard the noise of the sliding glass door and my eyes flicked open and I instinctively reached for a gun or knife that wasn't there. I didn't have that shit with me. Civilian and all. Though I guess I could've with us travelling by private jet – no awkward bag checks or issues about carrying weapons.

It took a second for my brain to catch up with why the hell I was cold and had stiff muscles in the back of my neck and shoulders as I'd fallen asleep on a hard metal chair and hadn't thought about the consequences of that. Really didn't figure I would've fallen asleep. I stretched, felt something pop gently back into place and looked up to see that Heero was examining the evidence of how I'd spent my evening. His eyes narrowed and I felt like shrugging and not giving a shit.

"Don't even fucking start," I said in warning. And he didn't. Instead, he walked back into the room, which was probably the worst thing he could do when I was spoiling to fight and wanting to kick his ass.

I followed, sliding the glass door closed behind me and watched as he removed his jacket and seemed intent on ignoring me. He was probably tired. I was damned tired so this really was not the time to be having a big argument but hell, we needed it.

"You took a fucking job."

"She needs a new head of security," he replied without any trace of emotion in his voice, his back turned to me as he walked over to the bathroom.

"For fucks sake, Heero. Do you not get this? We've been living together for over a fucking year, we've been screwing since we were fifteen and we've built a goddamn life together in _our _shitty home and you take a job _here _without even thinking about me! Jesus Christ, Heero, are you even fucking listening to me, you selfish asshole?"

I kinda figured he was just letting me go. It was like he felt that I might just tire myself out and then I'd be calm and he could just sleep or something. That at times like this, he would just close down and not bother trying to speak to me but right now, that tactic was _so _not gonna work as I stalked him to the bathroom where he was gonna brush his teeth or something equally mundane.

"I am listening," he said, turning round to meet my eyes.

"Then answer me, damn it! Do you not understand that you are _supposed _to ask me when you do this shit?"

"And you had a go bag, Duo," he countered. "Were you going to ask me before you walked out?"

"I was _not _walking out, 'Ro! I told you… I just…I just…" I felt like I couldn't end that fucking sentence in any meaningful way. Jesus fuck. This fight would go 'round like a motherfucker. "I love you, you ass! You are meant to tell me this motherfucking stuff – I'm not supposed to hear it from 'Fei."

It seemed like he'd been pretty calm during my whole rant up until the point I mentioned Wufei's name. It was imperceptible – a small flicker but one I damn knew. I saw his hands were in fists and that I had done the wrong thing to make my argument. Shit and fuck.

"Wufei?" he asked, voice damn cold.

"I met him in the bar. Asked me to re-join the Preventers as his partner since you were now taking a job as the Princess' head of security."

"And you said?"

"Yeah. I said yes, Heero. I just found out you'd fucking given up on any chance of us working so yeah, I said yes. No point me goin' back home without you, you dick."

With that, he just walked past me, his shoulder brushing mine as he did and it was a childish fucking move as it knocked me back a little and he was grabbing his jacket and the card key and looked like he was gonna just walk out.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"You're not the only one who can walk out."

Oh yeah, I'd been pissed before but right now all I could see was red. You know those glasses that they leave in the bathroom and those stupid little shampoos and shit? Well, they got thrown in his general vicinity. Glass smashed. It was a fucking bitch move but it was one I kinda liked. Throwing stuff kinda gets out some of the angry energy.

"Where are you damn going? It's two in the morning."

"I don't know."

He stalled at his answer – halfway across the room, looking at his duffle on the bed and me standing in the doorway of the bathroom. I wondered how loud our voices were. I wondered how well the rooms were sound proofed. Figured that they would be done pretty damn well – Sanc and all – but I guessed we really shouldn't be shouting at this time of night. Didn't need our asses getting kicked outta this place. Though it would be kinda funny. The thought made me chuckle and hell, I didn't know why but one second I'm flaming pissed, the next I'm trying not to laugh at the whole situation. I guessed I'd gone beyond tired and I was maybe delirious or something.

We were fucking stubborn assholes. And we had too much ammo against each other so we could fight for days and days. Shit. It was not good but then he was the only one who could probably handle the whole bucket of crazy that was my psyche so fuck, I was not gonna let him walk out. And shit, I was never gonna walk out on him.

Heero turned, dropping his jacket back down and just looked at me. He seemed less angry. Good. Progress or something. Or maybe he'd figured we'd go round in circles forever too.

"Do you ever think how totally fucked we are?"

"Yeah," he answered.

The tension had gone outta his body so I approached – carefully avoiding the glass shards I'd created. And the lotion bottles that had smashed. Damn. We had to be in such a fancy ass place that the shampoo and lotions were not in those little plastic things. Great move, Duo. He was still in shoes so it didn't matter to him but I was bare foot. I'm always an ass – do shit, think later.

"You don't want me to take the job?"

"You nearly died twice on L2."

"You so can't use that one on me, 'Ro – how many times have you nearly died?"

He shrugged. "A few. I lose count."

The hint of humour there – see, it had damn rubbed off on him after all these years – broke the last of my defences. "Maybe it'll be better, you know? We go back to making a difference and shit. Back to who we used to be." I took a step closer so that we were only divided by a few inches. "Just promise me, no jumping in fronta bullets, you ain't actually superman."

"Only if you promise no stupid stunts."

"Hey, it's me, babe," I said, cocking my head and going for a little grin that I hoped was kinda endearing. "I can only _try_ not to be damn stupid."

Heero raised one eyebrow.

"Okay, okay, I promise. Happy?"

"Better."

With that, he leaned forward, taking the initiative and I kinda just went with it as his lips met mine tentatively at first until I opened my mouth, wrapped my hand around the back of his head and pulled him close. The fact we'd not fucked for a few days – I was not sure how long as technically we'd gone through time zones and forward in time or whatever – and that meant I felt like I wanted to climb into his skin at the first sexual contact in days between us and he seemed to get that I felt impatient. Maybe he was as impatient. We'd got into the habit of regular sex whether it was fucking or just a quick game of mutual masturbation or sucking each other off so that a few days off had made me feel really damn horny right now and pretty fucking hard.

Getting me out of my clothes was not a difficult task as I wasn't wearing much. He slid the zipper down on the sweatshirt, the sound of the teeth unlocking seemed damn loud as he did so and I looked up at the level of focus he was putting into that task. I shrugged it off my shoulders as a hand went to touch the ink at the top of my arm, those angel wings that spread to my shoulder and I let my hands return the favour, aiding in the removal of t-shirt, his touch leaving my skin as he moved his arms to help – thrown to the floor without any real thought. Maybe we were no longer pissed at each other but then there was the damn pressing need to do this _now _and cement something – that I wasn't leaving and we weren't fucked over because we'd both taken jobs away from each other.

Hey, we'd spent a war screwing and it didn't matter. It was three fucking years that we were apart from each other after that. Three years of shitty under covers for both of us and even after all that damn time we were back here. Back together. Back to kissing each other hard on the lips and dragging fingers over skin, the light scratch of finger nails, that hint of force that lurked every time we fucked.

Always came back to this. Been the same since we were fifteen and I offered to blow him for the first time. Huh. Seemed a million years ago as we collided into the bed a little ungracefully. I ended up underneath his body and didn't protest. Sometimes I would but it was message received. Heero wanted to top tonight so I figured I could let that happen as I slipped my fingers down to his jeans, undoing them, lowering the zipper carefully and he left the bed to remove them along with his shoes and boxers. I threw off mine and they landed somewhere and then backed myself up the bed, pushing the bags onto the floor, so that I was actually on it rather than having half my body off it.

Heero's body came back to mine and I asked the awkward question that needed asking.

"Lube?"

The question was kinda muffled against his lips but I sure as hell didn't have lube. I figured it was not something that was required in my go bag as that would mean I was thinking of getting laid which seemed kinda crass or fucked up. And I hadn't picked any up in the house after finding him waiting on the porch to come to the damn Sanc Kingdom. It seemed a pretty asshole move to assume that we would fuck considering how pissed he was at me. But now I regretted that. Yeah, there had been some lotionin this fancy ass suite but I'd thrown that to the floor. See, total dumbass move. And I also figured we'd failed some kinda gay couple travel code. Always travel with lube. Never know when it will be needed.

"I have some."

I could only look at him with my head cocked to the side as he moved off me to find his duffle that had ended up on the floor. I admired for a moment the view, him bent over looking through his bag and I felt it was the perfect moment for some sarcasm. Something about him being optimistic and thinking he'd get lucky but I figured that it wasn't the right time to be making some joke as he crawled back over me, his body aligning with mine ever so fucking perfectly, our hard dicks meeting each other in a slow grind, the friction and heat between us starting to become too much as I pulled him down to kiss him, flicking and probing my tongue into his mouth, mixing his taste of stale coffee with mine of stale booze. I tried to indicate that this was a fucking 'nuff, that we could skip whatever foreplay we were going for and I pushed him up off me which earned me a look of surprise in those deep blue eyes.

"Like this," I said, dictating what I wanted through my body rather than through more words.

He understood as I rolled over and raised myself onto all fours and I felt him move to behind me, a hand wandering down the expanse of my back, feeling the bump of my spine creating this tingling along my nerves that was not helping the ache in my groin and the need to cum. His hand finally reached my ass and I shuddered at the first experimental touches. I barely noticed the sound of a cap or anything as I felt one hand reach underneath me, a few tugs on my cock making me breathless as the first finger probed. It was not that long since we'd had sex but still with this… with this Heero was always damn careful. That we could start off violent and pissed and angry but he wouldn't hurt me and I would never hurt him.

I knew I was damn in a bitch position but to me it was one that proved the complete and utter trust and faith I had him. That I turned my back to him – that I could do that without fearing for a damn knife or gun. Fuck, for me it proved more about the level of intimacy I had with Heero than if we looked each other in the eye and I didn't know if he knew that but then I figured it didn't matter if he did as I felt another finger join the first and then lips at the base of my back. The open mouthed kisses, the hint of tongue and the two digits scissoring were enough to drive me crazy without fingertips running along my dick and my arms were already struggling to keep my body in the damn position I was in. When I felt the addition of another finger, distracted this time by his hand leaving my cock and instead reaching for my braid, I thought about protesting as he pulled my head to the side to meet him for a sloppy and awkward kiss, his fingers still moving within me and hitting my prostate, making me gasp into his kiss.

"Heero…"

The way I said his name was fucking pleading, that I was being damn teased, that the fact my hands were supporting me meant I was kinda at his mercy and he was using the opportunity to tease all my available skin. My braid dropped from his hand to the bed and his lips travelled downwards from my shoulder until I looked back and I realised he'd taken the hint about my pleading – he was resting back on his heels behind me, his eyes obscured by his hair, his lubed cock in his hand and I turned my face back towards the headboard and the wall as I felt the first intense moment of pressure, the slow slide and that weird pain/pleasure mix that came from the first moments of fucking.

His hands were hard at my hips, nails digging in a little and not allowing me any movement but right now, I didn't want to, I just panted, closed my eyes, my head dangling downwards toward the bed and took in the feeling of him, hot and hard inside me, hands on me – feeling _connected_. More connected than we'd felt for a long time. Yeah, we were always fucking but most of the time it didn't have a whole lot of meaning to it apart from striving for release but this felt different. Jesus. Did not know the fuck why.

Any coherent thoughts got lost as I felt a slight pull out and then the same small movement in. It rippled through me and one of his hands left my hip, running across my side, reaching to touch my rib cage and nipples, building up a rhythm and pace, each thrust more confident, more assured and deeper and I rocked back into him, helping speed up the pace and I was rewarded with a noise from Heero that indicated he enjoyed it – a half growl, groan thing that was kinda sexy as I surrendered completely to my body's desire. Eyes closed, sweaty, hard cock leaking and Heero. It felt like all I ever needed or wanted in my damn life as I pushed back into him, the position and the depth making him hit the spot inside me that made me see fucking sparks and I was getting damn close from just prostate stimulation, never mind a hand on my cock.

I guess he realised I was close. The pants, the moans and the occasional "fucks" that flew from my mouth were a pretty easy give away but he tended to have more stamina – guess all that damn experimentation had to have some advantages – and I suddenly felt a firm arm around my chest and he'd stopped moving. His breathing was heavy, that I could hear, and I guess he wasn't that far from shooting his load either but he'd stopped. I was about to speak when the pressure of that arm made me figure out what he wanted me to do – I spread my legs wider around his thighs and he supported me to the position of sitting in his lap, my back to his chest, his tongue now flicking at my ear lobe, my braid pinned between our sweaty bodies. My eyes fluttered open at the change, as he was now deeper inside me without even moving and he was restraining me pretty damn effectively.

If we were in our normal fucking routine, sex every other day or whatever the hell it worked out as, this would be a normal thing. That some nights we'd bring one another to the peak and stop and slow and try and make it damn last. Tonight I didn't need it to damn last. Just needed to come hard and feel him come hard and know we weren't fucked as we had this. But he wasn't playing that game, instead, he'd stopped totally and I tried to move a little, to create some friction but I couldn't against him. Always gonna be stronger than me.

"Move, damn it," I said.

Not really the most romantic shit or even remotely loving but it was frustrating. I could feel him inside me, every inch and I just wanted movement. I didn't mind the attention he paid to my neck or my shoulders – those feather light kisses, brushes of lips – as they felt kinda nice but I didn't want to feel nice. I wanted to be fucked. And he wasn't doing that.

His lips were at my ear and I felt his breath with each word. "You said you loved me."

My eyes now flew open to try and look at him despite the awkwardness of the position and I turned my head to see his expression at least a little. I couldn't really see being unable to turn my head entirely but I could feel his breath, feel the expression on his face and the kisses against my neck, nudging my hair away with his nose.

I had said it. Okay. I hadn't figured it at the time but I had. I'd said those three words in anger but I'd said them. The last time I'd said anything similar was when I was talking to my damn wrist in that cell. There was a slight flex of his hips, something I wasn't sure if even he could control and my head fell back onto his shoulder at the sensations rippling through my every nerve. I felt this really was not the appropriate time for the _big _damn conversation. Love and future and shit.

"Did you mean it?"

Did I mean it? Hell, I say a lot of shit but I would never say something like that unless I meant it but right now I was not entirely coherent. If we'd not been in this position, if his arm was not holding me tight to his body, his lips on my neck, him hard inside me, I might have deflected, joked, evaded and high tailed it outta that difficult situation. But you know, I'd really run outta ammo when we were like this and maybe this was the only way to get me to admit feelings and then I'd never have to admit them again. So I figured I'd just go with the whole truth, nothing but the truth and all that jazz.

"Yeah," I panted, "now _move_, damn it, 'Ro."

I heard this thing that was as near as he would get to a chuckle against my skin and the words that I'd never thought I'd hear in a million years – words that I thought I was incapable of never mind Mr Emotionally Stunted – and one hand moved down to my hip in an attempt to steady me as his grip loosened and I raised myself up, aided by him to come back crashing down, sending shockwaves through both of us.

"Love you."

Love you. Little words. Tiny words but as we moved together, me wrapping a hand around the back of his head, my body twisted in a way that was in no way comfortable but sure as hell did not matter as he thrust up to each of my downward motions and we fucked harder, faster, deeper than I ever felt we had. The position, the words and the feel of his chest slick against my back was bringing me close to the point of no damn return but as he jerked in a less steady rhythm I knew he was far too close and his hand reached for my cock, assured slick strokes bringing me to my pinnacle until I felt him thrust as deep as he could one time, the soft "yes" that signalled his climax like it always did against my shoulder. His hand had stilled on me as he shuddered against me and I was about to take matters into my own hands when he figured that I hadn't come yet and rectified that with a few more strokes, teasing the slit and I hunched forward, almost falling and if his arm wasn't damn supporting me I would've as I felt my own release, hot and sticky against his hand, the sheets, my stomach.

Our bodies didn't separate straight away, figured we both needed a few moments to come down, feeling him softening inside me and our breathing return to normal.

"I need to move," I said as I felt my thighs start to tense from the position. His hands left my skin and I crawled forward a little before just falling to the bed on my stomach, not really caring. It took a second for him to join me, an arm thrown across my back, and I turned my head to look at his face.

I think I was grinning goofily. It must have been because he smiled back – that small subtle quirk of lips that only I got. My body still thrummed, each nerve like something electric under my skin and I had no words. Least not yet.

"We're okay?"

"Yeah, babe, we're okay," I replied, leaning to kiss him, the tiny movement creating an ache in my muscles. "I think after that we're kinda fucking awesome."

"The jobs –"

"We'll work it out."

And we would. But right now, all I needed was some fucking sleep.


	6. Don't Have the Right Look

A/N: As always, hi to new followers and thanks to the reviewers and those who favourited. Ready to Fall is not going to be updated next week as I am on vacation (sorry!) but I will be back in two weeks time with an update. Song for this chapter is Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy. Special mention to my beta ELLE for her super quick turnaround time this week as I sucked in getting it to her...

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**Chapter Six**

**Don't Have the Right Look**

The Preventer Field Office in Sanc was the first "real" Preventer office I'd ever been in. The whole point of me being an undercover operative for three damn years was that I never really had true contact in the traditional sense with the official Preventer organisation. It meant years of meeting Wufei in random cities, in random bars and diners and cafes and it meant I'd never been into the light atriums and fancy state of the art offices that housed the Earth Sphere's defence against all acts of terrorism and shit. It looked like it cost a lotta money. I wondered if that was because we were in Sanc or whether all the Preventer offices looked like this but damn, it sure was fancier than I anticipated. I whistled under my breath and followed Wufei through the lobby and realised we were being looked at as we walked.

My time undercover had meant I technically didn't exist. That my entire life, those minimal records that existed, if they ever had existed, were gone so that I was a ghost. Actually more than that. I'd never been alive. But now, suddenly, I was. Full standard agent and all and when Wufei called at a stupid time in the morning – or at least, one that seemed entirely unreasonable to me – I had to join him in a black town car and come to a Field Office like I'd never done before. It was like, they say jump, I say how I high. And, hell, that has never been my style.

It wasn't that early, I reasoned as I walked a step behind him through the corridors. We'd been through a security point where Wufei gave his black standard issue gun over to a bored looking security guard before he stepped through a scanner. I followed and for once in my life knew it was not gonna beep as I genuinely had no weapons. No switch blade. No gun. I had been doing the whole civilian thing or had been up until today. It was passed back to 'Fei and we continued on our journey through the corridors and halls of the busy offices.

I kept my shades on purely for aesthetics as I looked a little like shit. I'd not truly slept for a few days and I sure as fuck did not know what time my body thought it was. I remember being better at recovering quickly at fifteen. That my body clock adjusted automatically but I suppose I was hung over, jet lagged and spent last night being fucked by Heero, so yeah totally had a reason to look less than my best.

Thinking of Heero made me think of how I'd wanted to spend this morning instead of being at a Preventer Field Office. I'd thought or hoped my morning was going to be spent in bed with Heero. I'd wanted to wake up all slow and nice, feel Heero's body alongside mine and appreciate the whole comfortable large Sanc hotel room bed thing. I kinda wanted morning sex or at least morning hand jobs or morning blowjobs or something but instead, the vidphone went off and I was left cursing the fact that we were not gonna get time to resume last night's activities again when it didn't have to begin with me throwing glasses and lotion bottles.

It had been warm in the bed and I'd seriously thought about not answering the phone. We'd ended up around each other's bodies, his ankle in between mine, his arm loosely around my waist and it was comfortable and reassuring. And I didn't want to move and face a new day where I was a Preventer again and Heero was Relena's Head of Security and shit would change totally between us. I kinda wanted to hold onto that moment for a bit longer but, you know, couldn't so I dragged myself up to answer it letting Heero roll onto his back against the sheets. I thought about pulling on boxer shorts but I didn't know where I'd thrown them in my haste to get naked last night and I'd answered vidphones enough times being mostly or fully naked. Just had to make sure people only saw your face and shoulders. And remember to disconnect completely before you stand up unless you wanna give the person on the other end more of a view than you intended.

So yeah, I'd answered and I'd agreed to meet Wufei and thus found myself walking through the corridors being gawked at. I wondered whether it was me – the whole fact I looked super casual and the braid and the sunglasses because of those stupid shadows around my eyes – or if it was because of Wufei and his status. I guessed people knew he used to be a Gundam pilot. Or maybe they didn't. Hell, if I knew.

I memorised the route we'd taken, the cramped elevator ride with various employees dressed in anything from the standard Preventer uniforms to boring ass suits. I suppose I never guessed that the Preventers had different kinda employees. Had the field agents and the undercover operatives but also had the people who ordered the pens and did the accounts and the dull shit like that. I'd never imagined what it was like to be sitting behind a desk. It was one career option I was seriously never going to go for – I couldn't imagine the slow suffocation of being stuck in the same damn room for years and years at a time. I kinda felt sorry for the suckers but hell, I supposed the Preventers needed the pencil pushers and the bureaucrats to help save the world and all. Just never thought about it.

It was then I realised we'd reached what must be the top floor as we were the only people in the elevator and the doors had opened on different lower floors letting those employees out. I guessed this is how it always worked in office buildings – bosses on the fancy top floors – and I seriously thought about bailing and going back to my little garage for a second as I figured out where I was being taken. I knew Une was in Sanc, of course I did being that she'd been on the damn newsfeeds telling everyone about the Princess' condition and all but I hadn't figured I'd have to have a chat with the big ol' boss lady. I'd kinda always wanted to tell her to kiss my ass. And I felt like 'Fei had blindsided me a little. That he'd not actually told me why I was coming to the Field Office. Oh yeah, he'd said something about my "induction" but that had been nice and vague. I'd never really had an induction first time around. Yeah, I'd done some medicals and talked to some lovely psychologists but I'd never really had what could be classed as an interview or even an informal chat about a job. I've never had to go through "normal" channels in life being that I'd snuck aboard a Sweeper ship, I'd stolen my Gundam and I'd been offered undercover work as some kinda way to keep me outta trouble, so yeah, the thought of an actual conventional sit down with the head of an organisation – one who'd I'd totally fucked around – was not something I looked forward to.

"You brought me to Une," I said.

"It's necessary."

"Necessary my ass," I managed to grumble under my breath as we walked down a corridor to where a chick sat behind a desk outside large oak doors.

"Agent Chang and Maxwell to see the Commander," Wufei said briskly.

The girl called through and gave me a particularly shifty look and I wanted to say something but I didn't.

"The Commander will see you in five minutes – can I get you coffee, water, something?"

Wufei declined but considering how my head felt I opted for water which she brought back again with the same stuffy attitude. I really hated Sanc. That everyone seemed to look down on me. I suppose I brought it on myself, I figured that scruffy jeans and a hoodie ain't really Sancian attire but really I didn't give a shit. Not this morning. People can judge away. I figured that she'd be some blue blood's niece or granddaughter or something. Least Relena wasn't like those kinda chicks – not just some rich girl who'd look down her nose at me for not being quite what people expect. I thought I was being respectable by the fact you couldn't see the tattoos.

I gulped down the water from a tiny plastic cup and decided to remove my shades as we waited. We were offered seats but I felt too jumpy to take one. I was already beginning to regret my decision. Really, what I liked about undercover work was the fact that I didn't have to deal with the politics and the whole fancy ass wearing uniform crap of the organisation. And the organisation was so full of ex-OZ types that I felt damn paranoid. It so didn't help that my experience on L2 and the knowledge I had that Roth had some Preventers bought and paid for. Yet I figured, what else was I supposed to do? Go back home and tinker with cars and wait until Heero came back? Sit around and pine and be pathetic or something? That so wasn't me and that thought appealed less than a meeting with Une.

The door opened and the guy that walked out looked much more suited to Sanc. Of course, that would be because he's the damn fallen prince or whatever other tabloid name he's been given in recent years. Zechs acknowledged us with a nod and I didn't feel like being all nice. His words were still burning in my head – "trouble in paradise" – fuck, he knew nothing. And so it was probably a good thing when the secretary came back over and walked us to the office for no damn reason. I'm sure I could've figured out where to go.

"Chang, Maxwell," Une said with a curt nod in gesture to the seats in front of her large desk.

Wufei took one seat and I took the other and tried not to slouch as much as I'd naturally do. God, it felt like being in the Principle's office or something. Not that I'd ever managed to make it to a Principle's office – that would require actual schooling and when your school experience consists of hiding with Heero and pretending to be a normal school kid for a few weeks during a damn war then it really ain't what could be called being in school.

"You understand the seriousness of this investigation?"

It seemed she was getting straight down to business which was fine. Shit I knew it was serious. It was difficult not to know that. That this was Relena. That this was an assassination attempt in the heart of the Sanc Kingdom, in her own damn home, at her own party and it looked bad. It looked like everybody was incompetent. That people had become complacent post war and it had meant that someone had got close enough to fire at the Princess.

"We understand," Wufei replied and looked over at me pointedly.

I nodded to convey that I got it. I know I wasn't classed as the intellectual in this partnership but I sure as hell wasn't dumb. I'm sure Une knew that – fuck, she wouldn't have agreed to this if she hadn't.

"I am trusting you to act swiftly and with discretion. We need to know why and how as soon as possible." She looked between us as she spoke and I'm sure that she focused on me more at the word "discretion" and I decided not to be offended. I'd kinda turned up to the Preventer Sanc Kingdom Field Office dressed like a rebellious teenager. It reminded me why Heero was better at this shit than I was. Knew how to fit in and stuff. "These are the details our agents have obtained so far."

She produced a tablet, the screen already open on some details regarding the what – the case? The investigation? I wondered what term to use as it wasn't a mission anymore. It wasn't an op. I was used to my ops. This was a totally different thing. All by the book and official. It was not something I'd ever done before. Wufei looked at it first, taking in the pages quickly before he passed it to me.

I flicked through the information that had been collected so far taking a few moments on each page, giving a quick assessment of the usefulness and then moving on. The interviews from the rich and powerful at the event seemed to feature a whole heap of nothing. The reports from the security team were ever so slightly better. That they at least could say they saw the shooter and had apprehended him. One shot had entered Jones' thigh in an attempt to disable – a shot that was not totally a kill shot but he'd already swallowed the poison capsule before the security team could do anything. It said to me that this shit was well planned out and that the kid had been pretty damn devoted. Willing to die for a shot at the Princess. Wow. Crazy motherfucker.

"Should we re-interview anyone?" I asked, looking up. "I mean, your agents probably did an awesome job but I'd kinda like to get a handle on this myself, you know?"

I saw the flicker on Une's face and I could see Wufei stiffen next to me in his seat as though he was already regretting the fact he'd picked me as a partner. Did he want me to sit here and say shit? I figured that there might be something relevant that they might've missed or something. Think outside the box and all.

"If you think it is necessary, Agent Maxwell, all the contact details of the interviewees are in the files."

I flicked again and then saw the preliminary details of a flight path and a check in schedule for two days at the London Preventer Field Office.

"London?" I queried.

"We want to thoroughly investigate Jones' background and he was studying at the London School of Economics up until this incident… we need to understand who approached a young man like this and why his actions led to this assassination attempt. It is clear that he could not have acted alone."

"So you think the people who helped him are in London?"

"That would be your job to find out, would it not?"

I smirked at the quick response. Score one for the boss lady. Yeah, that was our job. My job. I placed the tablet down on the desk in front of me as Une looked carefully between us and then trained her gaze on Wufei.

"Chang, if you wouldn't mind stepping out for a moment."

I looked up at Wufei and gave him a look that suggested that I minded if he left me here alone with Une. Hadn't she tried to kill me at some point? Oh yeah, though Heero had pretty much tried to kill me at some point and I slept with him so I figured I should let that particular grudge go.

He stepped out with a curt nod. He was so good at being disciplined and listening and respecting his superiors. It was so not me. G knew he had no chance of getting me to respect him but he knew I'd follow orders. I just grumbled about them and told him when I didn't like them. Sometimes I missed the old coot. I could totally tell him to fuck off. I seriously didn't think I could do that to Une.

Once the door closed with a soft click, she leaned forward resting her head on her chin and looked very closely at me before speaking.

"You understand I cannot tolerate insubordination."

I didn't know whether that required a response so I just went with nodding. I don't know whether that meant I was being insubordinate. Was I meant to say "yes, ma'am" or commander or some shit? I really wasn't versed in Preventer protocol. Or being a solider. Barely knew about being on a team. It was only really until the end of the damn war that we all started working together. The whole point of being undercover was that I didn't work with anyone else. I suppose I'd never been the toe the line, play by the rules, team player kinda guy. Now I had to be.

"Agent Chang is your superior. You will take orders from him as though they come from myself, is that understood, Agent Maxwell?"

"Yes."

"I want to impress upon you that this is a probation period. If Agent Chang informs me you have broken any protocols or acted in any way that is not befitting of the uniform then you can consider yourself fired."

"I understand."

She stared dead straight in my eye and held my gaze. I kinda guessed she wasn't used to people not being intimidated by her. After all, she ran the world's biggest damn organisation and she'd been OZ's lapdog. She really probably didn't get a whole lot of people who weren't deferential to her.

"This is not undercover work. I want you to remember that."

The words hung heavy and I knew what she was implying. No risks. No stupid ass moves. No going rogue or outta contact. Basically, not to do anything I'd done on L2. I knew there had been fall out from it despite running off and hiding my own ass. Preventer agent funerals that I guess she'd had to attend. Not fun.

"I am taking a risk with you, Agent Maxwell. Don't make me regret it."

"You won't," I started and then added "commander" outta some respect.

She quirked her lips, suggesting that maybe she was amused by me showing at least some respect and recognition of her status.

"You are dismissed. I expect you to be in uniform next time I see you."

I rose from my seat and wondered whether I was supposed to shake her hand or something but instead just picked up the tablet and made my way to the door. I stepped out to see the chick behind the desk still looking at me as though I didn't belong seeing the big boss lady and instead of doing what I wanted, maybe flip her off or something, I joined Wufei who was leaning against a wall, his head bowed, eyes closed and arms folded across his chest.

"Guess I'm calling you boss now," I said to get his attention though I knew he was aware of my presence.

"Are you going to listen to me this time?"

I grinned and shrugged. "Been told I have to so lead the way, chief."

We started down the corridor and he glanced over. "Chief?"

"I'm just trying to figure out the names I can call ya. Boss, chief, oh illustrious leader… just give me some time I'll come up with one I like… uh, maybe captain? No… maybe el presidente…"

I think he was already blocking out my rambling as we arrived at the empty elevator and he keyed in the button for the fifth floor. I could see he was visibly trying not to react.

"You regretting the partner thing, partner?" I asked, bumping his shoulder with mine.

"Ask me again in a week," he replied dryly.

"You think it'll take a week, huh? I must be slipping…"

And with that, the elevator doors slid closed and we were off to the rest of the induction. Medical and uniform and ID documentation. It was eleven a.m. and I was already wishing this day was over. It was a lot more complicated to play life by the rules.


	7. Listen Well, Will You?

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates the last two weeks but hopefully people weren't too disappointed as I have started posting my short AU series Sharpest Lives which provided my muse with a nice brief distraction from complicated plotting and allowed it to write a ton of smut.

This chapter is un-beta'd due to me sucking at getting it finished in time to send so any mistakes are all mine!

The song for this chapter is the Suffering by Coheed and Cambria. Those people who know the band/song might see where this chapter is going…

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**Chapter Seven **

**Listen Well, Will You..?**

The flight was scheduled to leave in ten minutes and we were still stood in what constituted a terminal building. We were at the private airfield the Preventers used in Sanc, the private airfield that Relena used and so no one was giving us shit. Well, no one except one grouchy partner. Wufei was literally stalking around the building, looking through the glass at our aircraft and trying not to bitch at me one more time. I wasn't leaving without seeing Heero. It was kinda simple. He could go, fuck if I cared, pilot the thing all by himself and I'd go commercial. I'd told him that we were piloting this damn flight and that meant it could leave a little late. He said we couldn't being that we had a flight path and a set schedule and I wasn't an undercover agent and couldn't do what the hell I wanted anymore.

Ah, the wedded bliss of a civil Preventer partnership had lasted all of three days.

Least I could blame Heero for this as I had no fucking idea why he hadn't arrived to say goodbye and all. It wasn't like I knew when I was coming back and really, now we were being all feelings and talking to each other and shit then it was one of those things you did, I figured. You said goodbye to the man you're fucking. Or the man you're in love with. Or whatever.

I stared down at the shining floor of the terminal and purposefully avoided Wufei's gaze as he walked impatiently and I tried to get some dirt off my boots. I probably should wear something less obnoxious with the Preventer uniform but then I figured, hell, if they are making me wear a shirt and dress pants then I'll wear biker boots. Give and take and all.

"Do you need to see Yuy?" was the question I'd heard ten minutes ago.

Yeah, I did. From the moment we'd stepped foot in Sanc we'd had very few moments together – we'd managed to have sex twice. Once in the mind-blowing "I love you" kinda way, the second time quickly and roughly in the shower kinda way. The rest of the time had been monopolised by the new jobs we'd both undertaken. His seemed to be made up of scaring the shit out of Relena's previous security team and investigating the incompetent staff while mine seemed to be reading a whole lot of nothing and talking to a load of people who hadn't seen anything. It was funny, we didn't do the whole "honey, how was your day?" thing when we met in the hotel, if we met at a damn sociable time but I'd managed to figure out enough that he'd fired some people and I kinda found the boss thing sexy. I meant to exploit it but, you know, so didn't have the time for it.

Interviewing people, while had been my idea, had really been a waste of damn time as I made the great discovery that despite being merely a few feet away from an assassination attempt, most rich people did not notice shit. I'd discovered that the guests didn't think much about the canapés or the quality of the champagne – which apparently _might_ have been sparkling wine which apparently is a big no no but hell, I didn't know anything that was really useful.

Maybe we got something. A couple of people had seen the kid earlier in the evening, that he dropped a tray – shock fucking horror – and had obviously been nervous. Which to me said, he hadn't really wanted to do what he did and then I wondered who the fuck the kid had been, you know, and why the hell did he try and shoot Relena . It seemed like he wasn't cut out for it. But then, the rich folks were probably just irritated by incompetence or something. And his skill had extended to shooting her in the abdomen and missing all internal organs and shit. So yeah, maybe he had something. That's what we were travelling to London to find out, after all.

I could tell Wufei's patience was more than wearing thin. In fact, my own was not doing so well. Heero was punctual and reliable and on time. He was everything I wasn't – really, he should be the one in the Preventer uniform and the one with the officially licensed gun and the official ID badge. But damn, he wasn't and it was me who was the one on time and waiting. I glanced over to our Preventer plane and thought that I should just get on it. That I was kinda looking forward to piloting or co-piloting. I was yet to have that conversation with 'Fei but I figured that as _I _was generally regarded as the better pilot of the five of us that he could be my co-pilot. Even grudgingly, Heero could admit that when pressed – yeah, he didn't like handing over control a ton but he could occasionally do it when it came to me. Kinda said everything about our relationship.

"Maxwell, we should go."

The words were enough for me to shrug, look towards the doors of the terminal and go fuck it – I'd get my flight. I'd call him when I damn landed and ask him where the fuck he'd been. He'd get the messages I'd left on his cell anyway. I really didn't know what the hell could be keeping him but then figured Relena could be going through another crisis. Another assassination attempt and that would be more important than little old me. I'd known my significance in the scheme of things in Heero's life since I was fifteen. From that moment he accepted the orders to self-destruct. Heero ain't nothing if predictable. Always thinking of the bigger picture.

My duffle was at my feet and I leant down to pick it up and was about to turn and follow Wufei. To be fair on 'Fei, he'd given Heero plenty of time to appear and he'd let me have it. He coulda been an asshole and told me to get my ass on the flight. But he really hadn't. Maybe I was being unfair. Our Preventer partnership hadn't descended into divorce yet. I still thought he had a coupla hour flight for me to irritate him. It could be over before we arrived in London. He hadn't had to spend time with me in a confined space since Peacemillion.

But, finally, there Heero was and I dropped my bag back to the ground. It made me chuckle under my breath. Suppose it was all that better late than never thing. I heard Wufei sigh as now there would be even more delays to our flight and he'd have to call the London Field Office and get them to amend the flight path or something and I was already a pain in the ass to him. But hey, least we could actually do the goodbye thing. Maybe not some mushy shit but at least say a legitimate goodbye.

Heero glanced over to Wufei and then back to me and I saw a single-minded determination thing that I hadn't seen for some time. Usually, it was the sort of face that was accompanied by having a gun in his hand and a mission and some moment of stupidity. Intense eyes. Mouth set straight. Shit.

"You're kinda late," I said, heavily. "I gotta roll."

I looked over to 'Fei who was far enough away and was now discussing something with the ground crew and then turned back to Heero.

"You are piloting your own Preventer plane. You are not on a schedule."

I jerked my thumb in the direction of Wufei. "Tell that to _that_ guy. He's kinda pissy and we have a flight path. We ain't at war."

He dismissed my words with just a little shake of his head that made his bangs fall a little into his eyes. "I have something I need to say and I want you to be silent."

I must've looked puzzled as that's what I was. Heero wasn't a "let's talk" kinda guy and that was one of our major problems as I was like "let's talk about a million inconsequential things and I'll ignore the actual shit I feel" kinda guy. That's why we needed emotional upheaval to say the whole "L" word thing. Something needed to kick us both in the ass and if life could do that, then it worked.

"Orders, 'Ro?" I asked sarcastically. My default button is sarcasm. I seriously cannot help it.

"Please," he said and it was like damn pleading so I relented.

"'Kay, I'll be quiet."

"Duo…" he started and then stalled.

I was really tempted to talk but instead, I put my hands in my pockets and was rocking gently on the balls of my feet. Now I was feeling ever so antsy – Heero didn't do talking, told me to shut up frequently but not because he wanted to say something, more because I was being irritating at that particular moment. As much as I'm a joy to be around, I have an amazing ability to piss him off on a semi-regular basis evidenced by the amount of times I'd ended up at random bars when we were at home. And I wondered what this was – maybe this was a "hey, since we're apart, why don't we take this as our relationship is on a break or something". The game face thing was kinda freaking me out. I'd thought I'd broken through that particular expression.

"I want you to marry me."

"… wha the fuck?"

I said it automatically and got a glare for breaking my promise of silence. But fuck… my brain could not comprehend what he'd just said. It did not make sense. On so many levels. The "M" word was huge. It obliterated the "L" word and that took a few moments to take in.

"I think, logically," he continued, his voice completely level and steady, "that if you are married to me then you are legally obligated to stay with me. That you can't just run and leave, you'd need to seek legal advice. That it would be more difficult. That you couldn't just grab a go bag and leave."

I nodded dumbly. I must've looked pretty idiotic as the words entered my head. Logically. Legally. All very unemotional words but then, I would never want the whole down on one knee thing either. It was a weird ass marriage proposal but then – when had anything about us been normal? We fucked at fifteen because we were soldiers and we scared of dying or something. It had never been a conventional relationship and I sure as shit never wanted that.

"You can say something."

My hand went to the back of my head, scratching underneath my braid. Fuck.

"I don't know what to say."

His brows knitted together and he looked adorably confused for a moment. I could see the logic in his head – that was Heero. That logically, this was a solution but he hadn't entirely thought of it from any other angle.

"I have rings."

"You…have…huh."

He went to a pocket in his jacket and produced a box and I self-consciously glanced to Wufei who was stood talking to a dude with a tablet and ignoring us entirely. I couldn't figure out why it bothered me if he saw this but it did, damn it.

"I understand in a heterosexual relationship that the female wears an engagement ring but I didn't think it was appropriate if one of us wore a ring. My conclusion was we both should. I don't know when we are able to make this legal so it would show our commitment."

"Right…" I managed to say as he opened the box.

They were silvery – could be white gold or platinum or something as I sure didn't know anything about jewellery. I'd only ever really worn my cross and that was probably cheap as hell and fake gold or gold plated. I'd ditched it for tattoos. So my knowledge of this area was seriously lacking.

"You're meant to answer," he said.

I looked between his face and those bands of whatever metal they were and then back again. I gave him a small grin as I could see the whole tension thing in his body and I wanted him to know it was kinda okay even if I did not know how the hell to answer.

"You researched this."

"I had no experience in this area. I needed to discover the relevant details."

I chuckled under my breath, not in a mocking way or anything as I didn't want to hurt him but it was all so… so… big and confusing. We'd said "I love you" a coupla days ago and now – wham! This was not what I expected.

"Fuck… Heero, you've like totally completely blindsided me here. I gotta leave for London and you know…" I trailed off. I didn't really know what to say, me, Mr. Articulate.

"You're saying no?"

"No, I'm not saying no… I'm just saying, like, this is real sudden and I need a moment to process this. Shit… you still kinda manage to keep me on the edge of my seat, babe."

The whole intense emotional moment got broken pretty effectively by the shouting of my name. "Maxwell! Can you stop the heart to heart – we have five minutes!"

"Shut the fuck up, Chang and give me one goddamn minute!"

Wufei blinked at me, must've sounded more harsh than I intended but I figured that I didn't care right now. I turned my attention back to Heero and looked deep into his blue eyes. Marriage, huh? I had a fuck ton of reasons to say no – we were young, really, really damn young. And marriage meant forever, right? Plus the concept of an actual wedding was something that made me want to vomit and yeah, how compatible were we in a forever kinda context? Yeah, we were drawn together, yeah we admitted we loved each other but really it was a totally fucked relationship. But then, really, I'd never wanted anything else. Hey, one thing I'd actually figured out about myself was that I was one reckless son of a bitch and he sure as hell wasn't that much better. So I just stepped forward and wrapped one hand around the back of his neck and just went with it. Jumping into situations without truly thinking about it was kinda my thing.

"Yeah, okay."

I decided that "yeah, okay" was probably not the way you are supposed to answer but I leaned forward and kissed him hard which kinda made up for the lack of romance. I heard coughing that was as subtle as a ton of bricks on Wufei's part. I guess he wasn't all too keen on viewing the huge massive public display of affection and me with my tongue down Heero's throat was kinda on that list. Or maybe he was just still being pissy about us being late and me delaying our arrival into London. Whatever. I broke off the kiss and looked down at the box he was still holding in his hand.

"They're engraved."

As we weren't doing this traditionally, I just went to pick one outta the box and he indicated that I'd gone for the wrong one. So the thing would fit – and then I had a ridiculous image of him measuring my ring finger to figure out what size I'd need while I was asleep or something. It made me want to laugh.

The ring was plain around the outside, thick metal as I guess he'd accounted for the fact that we could damage the thing. Or at least, I was certain I could. And I turned it under the lighting of the terminal building and I saw the words in loopy cursive script "one for one" on the inside. It was sweet in a totally twisted way.

I just smirked up at him through my bangs. I had nothing to say to that but it kinda worked on so many levels. The ring slid onto my finger and it fit like I guessed it would, he put his own on before securing the box in his pocket and I reached for his hand feeling weird with a tiny piece of metal around my finger and weird to see his matching. Yeah, we were not doing this traditionally – but then it was more symbolic like this. That it was a promise or something – that we'd do the legal shit when we could but it didn't matter right now.

"Maxwell," I heard 'Fei say and I released Heero's hand and leant down to grab my duffle bag.

"I gotta go."

He nodded and I leaned forward for a quick kiss before I turned and went to join Wufei to leave the terminal building and fly to London. I glanced back once before I went out of the doors and stepped out onto the tarmac and saw Heero stood there watching me go and my right hand automatically twitched to play with the new ring around my finger. It felt totally wrong on my finger but I guessed I could get used to it.

Yeah, just might take a while.


	8. London Calling

A/N: So… yeah, I know the last update for this fic was a day over two months ago but hope people are still with me *waves at followers/reviewers*. Chapter is beta-d by ELLE and the song is London Calling by the Clash.

On a brief note, I am British but I am not a Londoner and while I am using some of the geography of the city, I will be using artistic license to some extent. Plus I guess London could change slightly in the AC timeline. Or that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

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**Chapter Eight**

**London Calling**

I'd been to plenty of cities in my years undercover, plenty of countries but I'd not been to London apart from a stopover in Heathrow which said nothing about the actual place or the country in general. Airports and spaceports were not the best damn venue to get an idea of a place – they were all bland buildings full of people waiting for something. It was kinda depressing. Yeah, you had people who were waiting for vacations but then you had the sad looking businessmen and lonely travellers. I'd been one of those, drifting through cities and the colonies until I got another undercover op. Ghost-like, I guess, not really belonging anywhere.

Seemed a long time ago now. Moved on from there.

I'd piloted the Preventer shuttle. For the first time in damn forever I'd been in the pilot's chair and it felt better than I imagined. Yeah, it didn't compare to Deathscythe – hell, nothing ever really did – but the sense of power and the knowledge of controlling a machine was still something that made my pulse race. Made me feel damn alive. Even if it only was a short flight across a continent. Even if it was damn uneventful and my only job was take-off and landing as the rest of the time I flicked over to auto-pilot. Even if I spent the rest of the journey idly playing with the ring on my finger and trying to figure out what the fuck I'd actually agreed to and feeling the ever so slight "tense" thing going on between me and Wufei.

'Fei must have damn noticed. He'd not said anything but hell, you couldn't get shit past that guy. Huh. I remembered him bitching about my tattoos in a tiny café in Berlin and _they_ had been mostly hidden. Yet he'd noticed. Like I said, nothing gets past 'Fei. The ring still felt odd on my finger – big and clunky and just unnatural. It sure as fuck felt symbolic. Yeah, basically, I'd linked myself to Heero forever. And forever was a fucking long time. Though I guess with our lifestyles perhaps not as long as normal folks. I still didn't see either of us living to old age – especially now we were back in the field, even if Heero was just protecting the Princess. After all, someone had just attempted to kill her.

We didn't land at a major airport being that they were fucking huge and busy – instead, we landed at what once had been a British military base a coupla hundred of years ago that the Preventer organisation used. I felt kinda naïve about the organisation I'd just joined. Yeah, I knew they were a peace-keeping force. I knew they policed the whole damn earth sphere but I just hadn't quite contemplated the whole thing. Undercover I'd not existed to the organisation so it did not matter what the fuck I did. Now I heard Une's words echoing in my head about acting as though I was befitting of the uniform or whatever the hell she'd said.

Once we landed, it was a black town car and some British agents. I kinda thought about making some stereotypical jokes but refrained. Befitting the uniform and all. Guess it's a bad thing to disrespect colleagues. I kinda wanted to say something about stiff upper lips and tea and whatever but, you know, didn't. The boss lady would be so proud.

"We going straight to the Field Office?"

Wufei shook his head, his eyes glancing down at his open tablet. "We check in at the hotel and then meet with the Local Commander. He wants to discuss our investigation."

"So Une wants to make sure we play nice with the locals?"

"Something like that."

I shrugged and let Wufei be mysterious if he was not going to offer me any additional information. I leaned back in my seat and thought about trying to make conversation with our agents but then decided to just look outta the window.

I guess I'd never know if I'd go back to any one particular place – I guess I just seriously didn't know now I'd taken a job as an active agent and Heero was in Sanc for at least the near damn future. I thought briefly about the place we'd built for ourselves. I thought about us tangled up together in thin sheets in the heat of the night and being damn sweaty and sticky and not giving a shit as long as our bodies were touching as much as possible. And I guess I sure as hell missed it. I played with the ring again. Maybe Heero did. I was nostalgic for something I never really appreciated at the time. Huh. Guess you only want stuff you can't have or something.

The military base had been situated outside of London and I leaned my head against the glass of the window, creating condensation as raindrops ran down outside. I guess the old cliché of rain and British weather was damn true. Who'd a thought it.

When we arrived into London, heavily congested traffic, black cabs and imposing tall buildings around us, I kinda thought even though the weather sucked there was something kinda impressive about the place. Yeah, it was grey and dull at first. But then this was an old city. You could see the modern clashing with buildings that had stood for centuries, the large skyscrapers of glass and steel next to the old and the unmoveable. It was kinda heartening that even though they built those fucking huge and tall skyscrapers, the most interesting things on the skyline were the old. The buildings that had existed long before someone had the idea of the damn colonies. I felt so unused to this – the sense of history. The sense of place.

I was at times a total colony boy and despite having drifted through a fuck ton of countries and cities, I rarely went and looked at the damn culture or the architecture. I'd either been undercover which meant my perspective on a place was coloured almost entirely by the lowlifes and fucking scumbags I was having to deal with on a daily basis or I was passing through in some haze. Those years where I'd drink to forget the last undercover and fuck around with the first decent looking guy who'd show some interest and forget about the kids being trafficked or the drugs that were being sold cut with killer chemicals and forget that I'd been a complete fucking screw up and pushed away the only person that damn mattered. Those years had not been my finest. Yeah, I done some decent work – brought down some criminal gangs and shit but it had taken that L2 op for me to stop screwing around. Grow up a little. Let Heero in. Move on. Get engaged.

Shit. Still sounded fucking weird.

The hotel was in the heart of London, perhaps not as fancy as the place we'd been staying in Sanc but that had been paid for by a certain blond billionaire. This was being paid for by a peace-keeping task force. I kinda thought their priority shouldn't be if the place comes with fluffy robes or a decent mini-bar, more that we actually you know, catch the motherfucker who planned the whole hit on Relena shit.

It was as Wufei did all the checking in thing and I did the whole wandering around the lobby checking out the security camera thing, that I realised we'd only be getting one room. Okay, yeah, not a big deal. I am not the most modest person anyway, hell, it's a curse and I have no problem with my body even if I am a bit on the skinny side. Hey, Heero has never damn complained, in fact, he knows every part kinda intimately. But this was 'Fei. The guy who'd kissed me, well on the forehead, and had saved my ass from some fucked up life of drowning my sorrows or something. And yeah, me and Heero were now all committed and all but I still figured there was the whole shadow of three years where Wufei had been the one guy I could rely on, who'd kept my head from spinning outta control after so many shitty undercovers, who had stopped me from losing my damn self in all those sex trafficking rings and drug cartels and weapons smuggling ops. Really, there was so much unresolved shit here that being in the same room as him suddenly seemed like a damn stupid idea.

Yet, we had no choice as we dropped off bags and we tried to take as little time as possible as we had our goons waiting, parked outside the lobby.

I automatically picked the double bed by the door, kinda thinking as I always did about escape routes as the window was too high up for a jump out of. Unless, I wanted to do it in spectacular Heero style and I had jumped from a hospital window myself not too damn long ago on L2 and that had been a lot less height and was still not the best idea I'd ever had. Combine that with the pacemaker that's keeping my heart beating and damn, I'm so not gonna use _that_ escape route. Maybe the self-preservation instinct that I've never had finally came into play. Maybe I was listening to Heero for a damn change – after all, I had promised not to be too damn stupid.

Wufei was looking at me, I realised, and I figured that maybe I needed to deal with the weird feeling that had been between us since we took off from Sanc. That he hadn't bitched at me taking over the controls of our plane, he'd only sat there for the journey, arms folded across his chest and seemed to be meditating. I kinda knew that was his thing, after all, he'd used that technique all that damn time ago on Lunar Base when I'd been so impressed with him. Those techniques he'd tried to teach me in a Preventer safe house after a fucked undercover.

I knew it was my place to say something, that I should say that, "yeah, 'Fei, me and Heero are getting married at some undetermined time" and maybe say he could be my best man or something but fuck, might as well be a complete dick and knife him in the stomach at the same time or something. I wasn't sure what his feelings were, never really knew but I don't think they were purely platonic. There had been too many times we'd nearly done something and maybe… yeah. I shouldn't have said the shit I did in the hospital.

_"In a different time and place…"_ I remembered saying.

Fuck, I really was the asshole in this situation.

"We should get to the Field Office," I said, "don't wanna give Une an excuse to fire my ass already."

I went for deflection and we secured our room, keeping our registered weapons and ID's on us and making our way back to our car for the short trip to the Preventer Field Office, both spending our time looking outside at the shifting cityscape. I briefly brought out my cell, deciding that really, Heero should know I've arrived, and sent a quick message before securing it back in my pocket. I knew dark eyes observed that.

The car pulled up outside a building that overlooked the Thames, the river that looked grey and depressing at this damn point. The silent agent dudes didn't say anything as we exited. I wondered if these agents were just drivers and I thought that sure as fuck was a depressing role in the Preventers. Join the organisation that protects the entire earth sphere. End up driving other agents around. Must be like being a cab driver. Least cab drivers got tips sometimes and at least they damn talk.

The building was probably the oldest I'd ever been in and I self-consciously tugged at my shirtsleeves and looked to check if my boots were a damn lost cause. I guess that whoever the local commander was they'd just have to take me as I was. I looked over to 'Fei who looked all put together. He didn't wear the regulation tie but still looked more official than I did. I didn't get it. Guess you could put me in a suit and I'd feel somewhere deep down that I was the street kid gonna embarrass myself or whatever.

It was similar to Sanc – meant to be impressive, I guessed, but then this was London. Yeah, it was no longer the heart of the world or whatever it had been a coupla centuries ago – see, I had been reading my briefs and doing my research, but it was still all about being important. The building had always had some link to peace-keeping, I'd read that, and it had housed British Secret Service or whatever the fuck they were called in the past. And it now housed the Preventers so the place had a fuck ton of history. Landscapes of battles on the walls. I mean, battles with horses and old ships. Not a mobile suit in sight. Art that was probably worth more than whatever amounts of Gundamium still existed.

The building may have been damn old but the technology was ever present. I could see the cameras, I could see the metal detectors and I knew I'd have to give up my newly acquired weapon as we made our way through the building. I'd just got used to carrying a piece again since my official job acceptance and I kinda liked the feeling but I handed it over as we went through the detectors and I complied with all the rules – let them check my ID, let an agent pat me down without any smart ass comment. There's a part of my brain that just wants to say that the only one who gets to touch this piece of ass is my _male _fiancé for pure shock value but hey, I don't and my weapon is handed back to me.

"You know who the Local Commander is?" I asked 'Fei as that little nugget I'd either bypassed or it had not been in my briefing notes.

Wufei nodded but didn't actually answer. Which seemed kinda ominous or something. Calm before a storm.

"Someone we know?" I pressed – as damn, there were so many people we could know, even in the vaguest sense.

The thing with the whole Preventer organisation was that it was full of people we'd either fought with, which was good, or fought against, which was bad. And I'd got outta that bullshit in my tenure undercover as I was a blacklisted agent and that meant I had no real records – apart from those that were kept closed, locked tight by Wufei's old team. Or maybe not so tight. After all, Roth had kinda had access to my whole crazy twisted and fucked psyche. My medical shit. My fitness for duty evaluations. So yeah, I wondered who our local commander could be and kinda wanted to cross my fingers it wasn't someone I'd pissed off in a past life. Not White Fang. Not some pompous ass Romefeller dick. Not some ex-Ozzie with a superiority complex like _all _ex-OZ officers seemed to have.

And since I was meant to be playing nice, to the rules and all, I needed not to piss the Local Commander off. As really, I wanted this job. Wanted this investigation. Wanted to feel the thrill of doing something that meant something again. I couldn't lock up Shinigami as much as I couldn't lock up any part of myself and damn, I wanted this. So, all in all, warning from Une and the fact I didn't want to fuck this up meant that Duo was on his best behaviour. Shit, really should not talk about myself in the damn third person, but basically, yeah, this had to work. I didn't want to have risked everything with 'Ro for me to end up back tinkering with cars.

We were led to a Briefing Room by an agent, his uniform damn perfect in every way and it was as the door opened I realised that I knew the Local Commander but, you know, as I have the world's suckiest luck in life it was not someone who I wanted to see. Or work for. Or be remotely friendly towards.

He stood up as we entered, doing that whole elegance shit that came from good breeding and knowing how to hold yourself right. I thought Heero knew how to stand straight with all his soldier boy shit but 'Ro had nothing on him.

"Yuy let you off your leash?" he said smugly as his eyes fixed on me. Cold blue. Not Heero's deep blue and not his sister's kinda cornflowery blue. Harsh.

Yeah, our Local Commander was Zechs Merquise. The smug bastard with his whole "trouble in paradise?" comment. And now I couldn't tell him to go fuck himself. Damn. I so have the suckiest luck ever.


End file.
